Posts Tagged “story”

Metamucil – It Keeps You Regular

Okay, Jeff here once again (about like 20 minutes later), just wanting to see if anyone actually reads this thing. I’ve been wanting to know if anyone actually stalks me or something. I don’t really care if I have regular readers, but if I do I’m interested in seeing who they are. So if anyone that reads this could just land a comment this way, that’d be awesome. Who knows? I may just give you a prize or something…but don’t count on it.

I also just wanted to put this post in to remind myself to start a new story. I haven’t worked on the old one for about three months now, and I no longer have any desire to finish it. It’s a horribly emo story, and while I had great intentions for it (bringing a guy out from anti-social behaviour and transforming him into a new person), whenever I write it, it just depresses me. It describes an area of my life that used to apply to me, but is now dead. I don’t wish to bring it up again. So as soon as I get a new idea for the thing, I’m starting fresh. When I do so, of course, I’ll post about it so all you regular readers (if there are any) can catch all the action. Needless to say, the new story will be much more interesting than the old one. Hey, all I can say is that at least I didn’t finish off the…Continue Reading

The Day of Dissing

Today had to be the day when I achieved the most amazing insults. I dissed so many people today, and all of them were quite intelligent disses, not something like, “Yeah, well your mom’s ugly.” Nobody had any comeback good enough for my insults today. The most they could muster was, “Shut up.” It was great.

Let me set up the scenario for one of the good disses (since I forget most of the others – I just know they were good). A couple years ago, when I was in Grade 10, I liked Stephanie. On Valentine’s Day I decided to be stupid – although I thought I was being smart then – and give her a nice little note saying that I’d be thinking about her today, and gave her a pack of gum as well. The gum was because she always asked me for gum, blah blah blah. You don’t even want to hear some of the outrageous ideas I had come up with before, though. This idea was toned down majorly because I figured anything bigger would end up making her throw herself out the window from embarrassment. So anyways, I gave it to her all shyly, she said thanks just to be nice to me so she wouldn’t hurt my feelings, and then proceeded to go out with my best friend within the next couple of weeks. She pretty much avoided me since she realized that flirting with me was making me think that she liked…Continue Reading

Flirting, Romance, and the Soap Opera of Life

I’m not quite sure what’s going on here. I’m starting to become a chick magnet with the girls. The only problem is that they’re the girls at my school. Why is that a problem, you say? Well, to begin with, there’s not much selection, and to end off, they’re annoying. I mean, I can stand them most of the time, and there’s a couple that are actually…normal. But it’s when they all start flirting with you that you know you have trouble brewing. And usually I’m a strong proponent of flirting. After all, I pretty much do it all the time to every girl I see whether I think she’s hot or not. But the problem is that some of them are horrible at it, and it turns out to be completely obvious.

I suppose the easiest way to talk about this without naming names would be to first explain the purpose of flirting, and the proper technique of doing it. The best way to flirt is the “invisible” technique. This technique is hard to master, but since I’m a chick magnet (ha!) I should show how to properly execute this process. It involves having fun with the person without anyone even knowing it, even without the other person knowing it. Hmm, this is quite hard to explain. Let me show you the wrong way to flirt (this is courtesy of one of the girls in my school – not a specific circumstance, but the whole technique).

The way to…Continue Reading

Oh. My. Goodness.

Work · · Leave a comment

Okay, I just have to blog this before I head off to bed to die. I got to work at about 4:45 since my shift started at 5, and I saw that it was majorly busy. Since we just released a new bunch of coupons, everyone’s just decided, “Hey, let’s go to Quizno’s since we have these coupons!” I will never again doubt the mind of a marketer.

I ended up starting my shift about ten minutes early because I could see that everyone was rushing around to get everyone’s orders done. Within about ten seconds of when I walked back behind the counter, Rory asked me to get some stuff for him. And so it continued. There never really was a dinner rush like there normally is. It was more of a rush rush, where everyone just keeps coming in and there’s no end. Within about 10 minutes I knew it was going to be a horrible night. But alas, I didn’t even know half of what was going to happen.

Rory was only supposed to work until 7:00. But he decided, being the nice guy he is (and I’m not joking about that, he’s an awesome dude), to stay and help us out since we were still busy by the time 7:00 rolled around. He signed out so Paul wouldn’t get mad about paying extra, and then just stayed and did dishes and all the stuff we hadn’t had time to do while Kyle and I served customers.…Continue Reading

The Ladies’ Washroom

There’s just one main thing I want to write about for today – I promise. Well, I mean, I might throw something really short at the end to say goodbye for another day, but that won’t be more than a paragraph. I tend to ramble, so I’m going to attempt to control my mouth – er, fingers – today.

Anyways, in my in-depth, detailed studies of the female species, including all that is exterior and interior, both outward and inward, I have noticed something strange. Well, I’ve noticed many strange things, but there just wouldn’t be enough time to go into all that detail. Today I was in class and we had just finished up our Grammar quiz. A few people were still putting the finishing touches on it, but for those that were finished, Mr. G said that we could take a break between classes. So I was sitting in my desk, and one by one all the girls left the room. That was to be expected, of course, since I have already written about the bladder control problems that frequent women. However, after a few minutes, I started to worry. None of them had returned yet. The only people left in the classroom were guys, and surely not even a woman could take 3 or 4 minutes to go to the washroom. So I decided to investigate.

Under the guise that I myself had to go to the washroom, I walked to the men’s room, which is, as…Continue Reading

Power Outages and Moose Attacks

Work · · Leave a comment

Welcome to another Friday morning! I’ll likely blog again after school today, but I just had to write this down. Last night I worked from 5-9, and at about 8:30, the power decided to go out. Uh-oh. Apparently there was a car accident somewhere near Powerline and Balmoral, and a hydro pole was knocked down, so a whole bunch of the North end didn’t have power – including the plaza that we were in.

Fortunately, it wasn’t too bad. There were no customers in the store at the time, and we were able to lock the doors before any came in. It was Kim, Kyle, and myself working, and we were a little unsure about what to do with the food. After all, the fridges weren’t working, and food might go bad during the night. So we called Paul (the boss) and asked him what to do. He just told us to wrap up all the bread and close down the store – easier said than done in the dark – and to try and keep the fridges closed as much as possible. Now, I must thank government regulations about emergency lighting, because it meant that most of the store was still lit up partially at least. We were able to start putting everything away without too much difficulty. It was only difficult when Kyle had to use the washroom and there was no light. We had to give him the flashlight.

The thing that I really found creepy was…Continue Reading

Women and Their Water Bottles

Another day, another blog. I think I’ve probably used that line before, but I don’t care. Today was a very emotional day for me. I laughed, I cried – it really moved me. Well okay, not really. It was actually quite a regular day. I got water poured on my head for quite a funny reason. Allow me to explain.

I was sitting at the big table at lunchtime, calmly and quietly eating my lunch (or something like that). Then Lana and Steph were reminded of this funny thing I used to do where I talk in a low voice and then clear my throat and start talking in a really high voice, or the other way around as well. So they wanted me to do it. They started begging with me and I refused to, because that’s just the way I am. It’s so much better when it’s just out of nowhere. So Steph came around the table with her water bottle and threatened to pour water on my head if I didn’t do it. I knew she’d never do that, so I still refused. I forget why, but she poured a bit of water on Zac, who was sitting beside me. He started getting all sarcastic and was like, “Oh no! The water’s going to kill me!” Then he started talking about how Steph killed him by just being there, the stench being so strong. He got a bit more water poured on him, and then I was…Continue Reading