Posts Tagged “poem”

Sustenance

Sometimes it’s all I can do Just to keep on trying, Just to get up when I fall, And continue on with You.

Sometimes the path ahead Seems too daunting. Sometimes it seems as if I’m on this path alone.

But most often I feel That You could never love Someone as shameful as me; I’m a blemish on Your reputation.

And yet You look down On me in love. You are always smiling Because above all, I am Yours.

Help me remember this In these times when it’s so hard: When all I ever do is fail You, You try ever harder to reach me.

You are the One that sustains me; You are the One who catches me When I fall, and who holds me In His mighty hand.

Your face is what I seek; Though I struggle and strain, Remember that my only desire Is to know You more and better.

Hold me in Your outstretched arms. Let Your love shine ever down on me. And though I am weak and frail, Your strength will sustain me always.

Which is better: to make a promise that you know you can’t keep, or to never make the promise and keep on doing what you wanted to promise to avoid? I ask this because I truly don’t know. Often I’ll sin, and then I’ll realize it as the Holy Spirit convicts me; however, as I sit there in the knowledge of my sin and ask God for His forgiveness,…Continue Reading

Pressures of Acceptance

I don’t know what to tell you.I can’t seem to spit out the wordsThat so accurately depict my situation.I’m adrift in a sea of lost communication.

I’m not doing this for the reasons you think;I have my reasons, but I can’t express them.I can only hope that you see the hurt in my eyesAs you disappointedly walk away.

You want me to get along, to be part of that group,But it’s just not possible. I don’t fit in. I’m not like them.I want to grow; I want to be better than I am today.They are stagnant; they say they want to grow, but don’t.

If only you understood me, you would know.You’ve never bothered to discover who I am.You offer me no support for the things I want to do,But rather point me in the direction you want.

I’m trying to find someone who understands me.I’m trying to find someone who I can relate to.And I’m losing more hope every day of finding that person.I want someone to love; yet no one accepts me.

Please understand the reason why I look dead on the outside.I have a world of new growth flowing from inside me;I just have nowhere to let it show on the outside.No one seems to want to see who I am inside.

Routines and daily rituals are just a show.I’d gladly give them all up for someone who cared.If someone out there showed me the need to change, I would.I just haven’t found them yet.

God is…Continue Reading

Surrender (Part 2)

Since I’ve been on the topic of surrender, and since nothing useful or important happened at all today, I’ll blog about a poem that I made a while ago, back in April 2004, and totally forgot about now. I was looking on the disk with all my poems for a perfect one that described what I was feeling right now, and I found. It’s kind of strange that I wrote it almost a year ago, and yet even though I’ve gone far astray from God and then back closer to Him once again, I’m still in the same place as before. I’m closer than I was before, and yet I’m still so far away. This choice to surrender is a daily decision that I must keep making, and I wish I could just make a habit of it and be done with the choices. I wish I didn’t have to choose so often, because too many times I make the wrong choice. But, with no further ado, I present “I Surrender,” by me:

I’m sick of trying to figure stuff out,I’m sick of failing again.I just want You to take over my lifeAnd make me new again.

My life has spun out of control,And I try to remedy the problem.But only You can set it back on track,Please fix me up again.

You’re all I want, though I don’t always show it,You’re the only one that can fix my life,I’m just so sick of failing and starting again,I need You…Continue Reading

Thoughts, Memories, and Zombies

Nothing happened at all today. Well, okay, lots happened and it was a pretty cool day. I got my name drawn in our little lunchtime prayer group and got prayed for, which was kind of strange, but whatever. I’m glad that we have that group, because it’s not only sharpened my prayer life, but has also helped me grow closer to the people there. It’s also made me more aware of some of the needs that we have in the school, and while I don’t have the greatest memory, I try to pray for them whenever I think of them. And really, I do it right when I think of it so I don’t forget it. Some people prefer to write down requests for later; I would rather just take a few minutes to pray for something that pops into my mind. Not only is it relaxing to pray, since it’s easy to let my life get too busy sometimes, but it also keeps me on my toes, so to speak, and sensitive to what the Holy Spirit brings up. While I’m not sure exactly how biblical this concept is, I’m sure that the Holy Spirit can direct our thought processes to remind us of certain things. I mean, here I am with a horrible memory, and I haven’t missed reading my Bible for one day in about two months now. That’s almost unheard of for me.

But anyways, I’m not sure where that line of thought came from. I…Continue Reading

I Spy a Fly With My Eye

An epicure dining at Crewe Found a very large bug in his stew. Said the waiter, “Don’t shout And wave it about, Or the rest will be wanting one too.”

Don’t ask. I just found it, and since I have nothing else interesting to say, I put it up here. My arm hurts from racquetball, since every time I play I manage to somehow pop it and it starts to hurt. I’m not even sure what happens to it, but when I do a really hard return, it will crack or pop or something and then I can’t get any power out of any other shots. Oh well. Three more shifts at work and I’m done – I have one tonight, one Saturday, and one Sunday. Hallelujah.…

The Changing Times

Open my eyesAnd let me seeThat how things areAren’t how they should be.

Open my mindAnd let me knowThat every moment’sA moment to grow.

This is just a short poem that came to my head today near the end of lunch. I’m not quite sure why, but it did. I’m still trying to figure out the implications of it myself. I’ve been kind of beating myself up a bit lately, because every time I try to do things right, they always end up wrong. God’s basically trying to tell me that it’s alright. I’m a work in progress, and while He would love to see me always do the right thing, He understands that I need His help. I just have to be patient and let myself grow. I need to learn from the mistakes I make today so I don’t make the same ones tomorrow.

I’m the sort of person that looks forward with anticipation to the future. I don’t think I was always this way. I used to be really centred on the past, wishing I could do things over. But that just doesn’t work. And I suppose looking toward the future isn’t the greatest, considering if things go differently than expected, it causes disappointment. But the trick I’m starting to learn is that life, in regard to time anyway, is like a row of 3 pool balls. The first ball in the row is the past. This past is what got us to the second pool ball,…Continue Reading