We live in dollhouses / We put on doll clothes / And comb our doll hair / We are plastic // We are little boys and girls / Playing house, tea for two / We act out grown-up roles / Though we are already grownContinue Reading
I try to spend as much time as I possibly can reading. I still read far less than I would like to, but I’ve managed to read quite a few books over the past few years. The difficulty for me is to pick my favourites out of the ones that I’ve read. Certainly some I didn’t like, but many were good yet incomparable to each other. One may have a great plot, while another has compelling characters, while another has interesting themes underlying it—it all gets very difficult to compare one book to another.Continue Reading
Sometimes it’s all I can do Just to keep on trying, Just to get up when I fall, And continue on with You.
Sometimes the path ahead Seems too daunting. Sometimes it seems as if I’m on this path alone.
But most often I feel That You could never love Someone as shameful as me; I’m a blemish on Your reputation.
And yet You look down On me in love. You are always smiling Because above all, I am Yours.
Help me remember this In these times when it’s so hard: When all I ever do is fail You, You try ever harder to reach me.
You are the One that sustains me; You are the One who catches me When I fall, and who holds me In His mighty hand.
Your face is what I seek; Though I struggle and strain, Remember that my only desire Is to know You more and better.
Hold me in Your outstretched arms. Let Your love shine ever down on me. And though I am weak and frail, Your strength will sustain me always.
Which is better: to make a promise that you know you can’t keep, or to never make the promise and keep on doing what you wanted to promise to avoid? I ask this because I truly don’t know. Often I’ll sin, and then I’ll realize it as the Holy Spirit convicts me; however, as I sit there in the knowledge of my sin and ask God for His forgiveness,…Continue Reading
Well, this is my 292nd post on this thing. I suppose I could have just not said anything and left the surprise until my 300th, but I was afraid I would forget and just not have any celebration at all. So lets have a toast to my 292nd post on this friggin’ massive blog of mine. Cheers!
Now that the festivities are over until another 8 posts go by, let me tell you just a tiny bit about my day. To make a short story even shorter, nothing much has happened. I got up, had a shower and got dressed, then was pleasantly greeted by my father who asked why I hadn’t called Sears yet. My sister went and took her driver’s test to get her G license, passed, and is now driving like a maniac (well, actually she’s upstairs, but oh well). I called Sears once the store actually opened, got the lady’s voice mail, and it said she was on holidays until August 8th or 9th. She then rhymed off the extension of another supervisor, which I then called and left a message on his voice mail. I called Marco Sales as well, and found out that the lady I thought was looking at my resume actually had an employee doing that for the summer instead. So I got patched through to her voice mail, left a message there, and am now thoroughly confused, waiting for someone to call me back.
Once my sister came home from her…Continue Reading
I’ve been quite bored lately. I considered writing here last night, then I decided to save it for today. This morning, I woke up and thought I might be able to squeeze it in, but I’m glad I didn’t considering I got about 15 seconds on the computer before I had to go to worship practice and play my bass. So here it is now. This is my entry of all entries. Well, not really, but we’ll pretend it is.
I found out on the way home from church today that my sister reads my blog. She made a random comment about the term “phone tag,” and then I knew my worst nightmares had come true. My family had broken through my big wall I built, clearly labelled “Privacy.” I tried to tell her how awkward it was, but she didn’t seem to understand. She told me that it saves me having to talk to her – she can just read about my life instead. I would consider that a fair trade-off, but now I’m going to have to watch what I say. So from now on, all my entries will be about white-out. There’s really nothing to say about it, other than it being white, so all my entries will be blank. However, with this clever trick, I can make sure to never reveal anything personal about myself that can ever be found out by my family.
I actually don’t mind too much that she reads it. She said…Continue Reading
I don’t know what to tell you.I can’t seem to spit out the wordsThat so accurately depict my situation.I’m adrift in a sea of lost communication.
I’m not doing this for the reasons you think;I have my reasons, but I can’t express them.I can only hope that you see the hurt in my eyesAs you disappointedly walk away.
You want me to get along, to be part of that group,But it’s just not possible. I don’t fit in. I’m not like them.I want to grow; I want to be better than I am today.They are stagnant; they say they want to grow, but don’t.
If only you understood me, you would know.You’ve never bothered to discover who I am.You offer me no support for the things I want to do,But rather point me in the direction you want.
I’m trying to find someone who understands me.I’m trying to find someone who I can relate to.And I’m losing more hope every day of finding that person.I want someone to love; yet no one accepts me.
Please understand the reason why I look dead on the outside.I have a world of new growth flowing from inside me;I just have nowhere to let it show on the outside.No one seems to want to see who I am inside.
Routines and daily rituals are just a show.I’d gladly give them all up for someone who cared.If someone out there showed me the need to change, I would.I just haven’t found them yet.
God is…Continue Reading
Let’s see here. Today I went to church, then came home and had lunch. I read more of Huckleberry Finn for homework, then read my Bible. Although I’m doing an inductive Bible study on Philippians right now, I decided to read up on 1 Corinthians 14 today as well. Last Tuesday, I was over at Jake’s house after youth, and basically out of nowhere, the topic of speaking in tongues came up. They were all looking to me for answers, though, since I’m Pentecostal, but I really didn’t have many answers for them. I haven’t studied up on it enough to really form an educated opinion on it. So I read 1 Cor. 14 today, in both the New Living Translation – so I can get a rough understanding of what Paul is trying to say – and the New American Standard Bible – since it’s one of the most accurately translated versions – to get a clearer understanding.
I’m not going to get into a lot of detail, just because I’m no theologian, but Paul definitely marks it as a spiritual gift. He desired that the Corinthian church speak in tongues, but moreso he wanted them to prophesy – give a message from God to the church. In fact, he demotes speaking in tongues as one of the less important spiritual gifts. This puts the question in my mind as to why the Pentecostal church seems to place such a high emphasis on it, but I’m not even going…Continue Reading