Thoughts on Impulses

I’m not sure what to say today. Work last night went quite well, and as expected, I was quite tired. This morning was alright, though. I wasn’t as exhausted as I thought I would be. The church service went quite well. The pastor went off on a tangent and only ended up playing two of the songs that he had picked out. After that, he started pulling songs off the top of his head and playing those instead. It was confusing to try and follow along with his fingers on piano, but I don’t think I did too badly.

As I sat in the service listening to the guest speaker, Pastor Bombay, something hit me. Every once in a while, a pastor will get up and say something like, “Today I just feel that someone here needs healing,” or some other similar situation. And while I don’t doubt that it’s something straight from God, it really hits me just how weak in my faith I am. These people seem to get impulses, and though if they’re wrong, they could look foolish, they never seem to be wrong. Sometimes God will just lay a burden on their heart to pray for someone, and it turns out that they were in danger at that exact moment. And as I sat in the service today, I thought, “Why doesn’t that happen to me?” How come God isn’t doing that with me, or if He is, why can’t I hear it when it happens?…Continue Reading

Moods, Foods, and Music

Music · · Leave a comment

I’m not even sure what to say about today. I’m in a strange mood – it’s a generally happy and good mood, suppressed somewhat by a bit of contemplativeness. I’m not sure how much more descriptive I can be than that; nevertheless, it’s not bad in any way. I quite like this mood, actually. It’s due to the day that I’ve had today, so I suppose I should explain that some more and maybe you’ll understand how I’m feeling right now a bit better.

I woke up in a pretty good mood, not overly happy, but just sort of…there. I didn’t really have a mood, I suppose. I went on the computer for a while, took a shower, got changed and all that fun stuff, and then decided that I was going to go out to the Gospel Lighthouse. See, a week ago or so, I made a deal with myself, concerning this: I wanted the Seven Places CD, but I also didn’t want to spend my money. Normally I’d just download their songs off the internet and burn them onto a CD, but I could only find a few of their songs. So I made a deal with myself that if I got a job, I would go out and buy the CD. Seeing as I am now employed, I decided to keep my word to myself and go out and buy it. I took the car and headed over to the store, looked at the CDs for a…Continue Reading

Birthdays, Beaches, and Bowling

Yesterday was the birthday party for Melissa. It was a lot of fun, starting off with a trip to Long Point and then getting into some other stuff that I’ll talk about later. But let me begin with the beach, since, well, it’s the first thing that happened. I’m still getting ahead of myself, though, so let me slow down and start from the beginning.

I woke up yesterday at 8:00 AM. My parents had already left for the day, and they had taken both cars – but I already knew they were going to do that. I showered and got dressed, packed my bag for the beach, and then put my earbuds in my ear, turned on my music, and cranked the volume. This was partly because I was in a good mood, but also partly because I was trying to keep myself awake. Then with that, I headed out the door and walked over to the Staats’ house. I debated wearing my shoes to walk over there, but then I decided that it would be too much of a hassle to bring both shoes and sandals. I bring this up because it’s important – my sandals give me blisters, but I decided I’d wear socks with my sandals and hope for the best. It didn’t work too well; even on the ten-minute walk over to their house, I got blisters.

Anyways, I got to the Staats’ house and hung around there for a few minutes until people were…Continue Reading

Sisters, Spending, and Summer

I’ve been quite bored lately. I considered writing here last night, then I decided to save it for today. This morning, I woke up and thought I might be able to squeeze it in, but I’m glad I didn’t considering I got about 15 seconds on the computer before I had to go to worship practice and play my bass. So here it is now. This is my entry of all entries. Well, not really, but we’ll pretend it is.

I found out on the way home from church today that my sister reads my blog. She made a random comment about the term “phone tag,” and then I knew my worst nightmares had come true. My family had broken through my big wall I built, clearly labelled “Privacy.” I tried to tell her how awkward it was, but she didn’t seem to understand. She told me that it saves me having to talk to her – she can just read about my life instead. I would consider that a fair trade-off, but now I’m going to have to watch what I say. So from now on, all my entries will be about white-out. There’s really nothing to say about it, other than it being white, so all my entries will be blank. However, with this clever trick, I can make sure to never reveal anything personal about myself that can ever be found out by my family.

I actually don’t mind too much that she reads it. She said…Continue Reading

Swimming and Giant Green Monkeys

Last night was definitely strange. I headed out to youth and we had our usual devotional time and then prayer. Then afterwards, we sat around figuring out what to do. Kristy had been saying to me on MSN before that she wanted to go go-karting afterwards, but she never mentioned it. Eventually people decided to go to Kristin’s house to go swimming. People got into my car as well as others, and we got to their house, didn’t think anyone was home, went to Wendy’s, and then came back. I was completely lost while driving. It was horrible. Now that I’m out of the car, I can think, “How did I not know how to get there? It’s simple.” But when I was actually driving, I was completely lost. Oh well. We got there eventually.

I basically sat on the patio chairs while everyone else was swimming. I didn’t want to swim, and I didn’t want to go back to my house to get my swimming shorts either. I entertained myself by laughing at everyone in the pool as they complained about the chlorine, and bouncing my head off the back of the chairs. They were made out of material, so if you slouched down, you could bounce your head. It was fun. Anyways, I wasn’t by myself on the side too long anyways, since Angelie wasn’t feeling too well and got out. After everyone got out of the pool except for Zeth and Kristy, who were having a great…Continue Reading

Seven Places – Holes In His Hands

These are a few words that just mean a lot to me right now. I can’t say I’m the biggest fan of Seven Places, but they sure do a good job of encouraging me when I’m down. Everyone screws up, and I know that – but have you ever hurt someone else, and you know you did, and that hurt makes the whole situation ten times worse? It’s not what you did that bothers you, it’s that you hurt that person. That’s what I’m feeling right now. I mess up daily, and God’s the one that still keeps loving me over and over and over, in spite of what I’ve done. But when I sin, it still breaks His heart. And when I look back at just how many times I’ve done that, it hurts so much more. I don’t understand how He doesn’t just give up on me – or anyone, for that matter – but He still loves us all deeply. And that’s the only thing that gives me hope sometimes. So with that introduction, here’s Holes In His Hands by Seven Places:

You said your days were over That the sun would never shine again From glory days, to wicked ways You’ve lost your forgiveness of sin You walk through your desert Wondering why and what you’ve become You said you’ve slipped through the fingers Of the hands of God

You’ve fallen out of His hands Or at least that’s what you said The truth is not…Continue Reading

The Strange Happenings

Academics, Music · · 4 comments

Today was a pretty strange day. It wasn’t strange overall, but there were a whole bunch of little random things that happened. And since I figured I’d just tell you all what happened today anyways, I’ll try to remember all the strange little details that happened.

It all started when I woke up. But since nothing interesting happened until I got to school, I’ll skip ahead to then. I went into the little room and set down my bag, getting out the stuff I needed to study from. Melissa came in a few seconds after that, and very shortly thereafter, so did the strangeness. I forget whether it was Steph or Bethany in the room at the time as well (I think it was Steph), but Melissa started talking about her mom. Then, out of nowhere, she mentions that her mom calls me Jeffy. I’m not sure exactly when she decided to do this, but it almost scares me. I mean, I swear this woman has more mood swings than, well, Melissa herself. First she hated me, then she decided I wasn’t so bad, then she hated me again, and now she’s calling me Jeffy. I can’t stand that name. There’s only one person in this world that I’ve let call me that – and that’s Kim from Quizno’s. I didn’t let her at first either, but eventually I just gave up and let her, because she wouldn’t stop. I’m not exactly sure what possessed Mrs. Staats to call me…Continue Reading