Well, today’s the big day. It’s officially been one year since my “de-conversion.” I marked this day down in my agenda as the “Day of Awakening” – not that I really mean that in a condescending way, like before I was asleep and now I’m awake, but for me it was a moment of truth-finding. I wanted a name that reflected the change in perspectives. Anyway, I don’t think that I really have anything profound to say here, but I’d like to take a bit of time to reflect and think back on the year that has passed.
I remember very vividly the day that I said my last prayer. I had just been let down yet again at church on Sunday (asking for some sort of sign), and I knew that I simply couldn’t continue on like this. It was too painful, and because I had already essentially come to the realization that I had no intellectual reasons to believe anymore, I was left only with the hope of God showing up in some way to help me out. After that Sunday, I took a couple days to sort it out in my head and figure out what to do. And then, on Tuesday, August 19th, I said my last prayer. I knelt down beside my bed, and told God that I was still open to hearing from him if he ever decided to actually show up. But, I could no longer keep on holding out hope, and I…Continue Reading