English Explosions and Repentance Reasoning

Disclaimer: This post is from the archives, and may not represent the current views of the author. It also may not be at all interesting to read. Continue at your own peril!

Well, I just realized that my previous post never got, um, posted, until now. That’s disappointing. When I wrote it, the thing wasn’t working right, so I just left it to try again later. Then I guess I just plain forgot about it. But now I’m sure you all think that I abandoned this place, since I hadn’t said anything in over a week, and have moved on to bigger and better things, and friends who don’t let you down like I do. I’m sorry. I really am. It was all Blogger’s fault.

With that said, I still haven’t been here to write very often. I’m not quite sure why that is. I guess there’s just not much to say, so I try to collect all the little tidbits until I have enough to make a good, decent-sized entry. And hey, I just realized that I managed to use the word tidbits in a normal sentence. Hooray for tidbits! Sorry. That was a little off-topic. My English teachers over the years have told me that each paragraph needs to have its own thought that it tries to express. I reject that idea. Who ever invented the idea of paragraphs anyways? You have your essay, which is supposed to have an introduction and conclusion, along with one overriding “thought” called a thesis. Then, within it, there are are arguments, which have their own idea to prove, and are supposed to be sort of introduced and concluded. Then, paragraphs come along, and apparently you’re supposed to have one thought per paragraph, and have sort of an introducing sentence that summarizes the paragraph. Then each sentence is supposed to convey one complete thought. But why do we have to be so concise and easily understood? I could just as easily write a 500-word essay on no topic in general, and have each sentence convey a completely different thought altogether. What’s the problem with that? I guess I might run out of things to say, but as long as I make my sentences long enough, I shouldn’t really have to mention too many completely random things.

Well, on my blog, things are different. I make new paragraphs when I feel that the previous one has had enough time in the spotlight – and sometimes that decision is made purely on the basis of size. If it looks too big, I’ll cut it off. If it’s too short, I’ll keep going until it’s a decent size.

See? I felt like making that previous paragraph puny. I also felt like alliterating that last sentence. Notice the pretty “p” words preceding the punctuation point. Sadly, this is what happens when I lack an English course in my daily diet of classes. Eventually, I think I’ll melt down in a catastrophic, magnificent display of blinding flashes, and explode into a sad mess of goo, with words, letters, and sentence fragments scattered everywhere. The fallout would be horrible, especially for English teachers, who would go blind from the run-on sentences, onomatopoeia, and similes spread across a thirty-mile radius. Well, at least I know that my spelling skills are still intact. Man, whoever came up with the word onomatopoeia should be shot repeatedly. I imagine it was likely one of those intellectuals, those English teachers who do horrendous things just to make students fail. I mean, the worst part about the word is that there’s no “u” in it. Nobody can even say that they “put the ‘u’ in onomatopoeia.” It ruined business slogans everywhere.

But enough about English. That class is out of my life, and I’d appreciate it if it never came back. So, onto more serious things. The past few days have been relatively uninteresting. It’s been mostly a mish-mash of school, work, and no time for a social life. On a brighter note, though, I finally finished my surveys for Data Management today. It was a good feeling. Actually, it was slightly dampened by the fact that I’m actually still eight surveys short. But that’s okay. I’ll just ask my Chemistry teacher if I can survey our class, and I’m sure she’ll let me, because she’s nice, and well, I also have a 98 in that class. That had better get me something, even if it’s a few minutes of inconvenience for her while people do my survey. I mean, I’d even be willing to trade a few percentage points from that 98 as payment. Then again, she has no use for them, since she’s not getting marked. Hmm. But anyways, the past three days in Data Management have basically been devoted to surveying classes. I had to go around at lunchtimes and get teachers to initial my sheet saying that they agreed to let me survey their class. Then, when not surveying classes, we were in the computer lab. I managed to type all the info from the surveys into a nice spreadsheet, which I can use to make charts and graphs and all those cool things. It just feels good to be done that, though.

I’ve had a few things on my mind to write about for the past couple of days, but I haven’t really had a lot of time to do so. One of them goes back to last Sunday night, when Pastor Jim had that little “Ask the Pastor” thing at our youth group. One of the questions I asked him was, “Can you lose your salvation?” After the usual joke about, “Why, are you trying to?” and such, he got down to work and answered my question by basically saying yes. He basically said that there are some people who followed God at one time, and then they turned their back on Him and chose to walk the other way. His conclusion left me thinking, and that thinking led me to disagree with him.

My reasoning is basically this: Let’s assume for a moment that we can, in fact, lose our salvation when we turn our backs on God. Basically, it’s the whole verse about if we deny God here, He will deny us in Heaven. But then I got to thinking about that. Every time we sin, we are rebelling against God. It’s the reason God hates sin so much. When we go against what God wants for us, we sin, and in essence, are turning our backs on God and doing it our own way. So, if we lose our salvation when we do so, would we not lose it every time we sin? That would then lead me to believe that every time we ask forgiveness for our sin and repent, that it basically gives us back our salvation. Then, if that thinking is followed, it would mean that our salvation is very shaky and uncertain. Will we get into heaven? Well, only if we manage to repent just before we die so that our sins our covered. If you manage to sin and then die right afterward, well, I guess you’re just plain out of luck.

Maybe I’m reading a little too much into this. Perhaps it’s more about a mental choice to turn our backs on God completely, and never return. But no matter, I still believe that our salvation is assured. After all, as some say, if we did nothing to earn our salvation, how can we do anything to lose it? However, I might also make the argument that if we turn our backs on God and never return, right to the end of our lives, then perhaps it’s in that instance that we would lose our salvation. I don’t know. It doesn’t seem right that God would let our salvation be that uncertain, but at the same time, it doesn’t seem right either that someone who lived for God and then made a conscious decision to leave that lifestyle and go their own way should be allowed into heaven. But I guess I’m not God, and ultimately it’s His call. I’m just thankful that I can know I’m going to heaven, and that no matter what, God still loves me. It’s that love that I think makes the strongest argument for assurance of salvation. Above all, His love cancels our sin and makes us free. And that’s an awesome thing.

I had something else to say that had to do with hypocrisy, but I suppose I’ll leave that for another time. As for now, I have things to do before going off to Bigger or Better tonight with my youth group. It should be fun. And if it’s not, I’m making it fun. I’ve decided that right now. Things are always better when they’re fun. You know why? Because then they’re not not fun. Thank you sir, I’ll take that Mensa certificate now. Certified genius, here I come!

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