Thursday Thievery

Disclaimer: This post is from the archives, and may not represent the current views of the author. It also may not be at all interesting to read. Continue at your own peril!

Here we are in another month. We must march forward and onward, and hopefully escape this snow. I mean, come on. Snow in March? Why didn’t we get this three months ago, during Christmas? Actually, when I looked out the window this morning, that wasn’t the question that ran through my head. It was, “Why does it always snow on Thursdays?!” I can’t believe it. It seems that every single Thursday, the one day of the week when I have to suffer outside in the cold to change the sign at work, it snows. I mean seriously, why not Wednesday or Friday? Is this some sort of cruel joke that God likes to play on me or something? Heh, oh well. I guess the Ruler of the universe is entitled to a little fun now and then, after taking care of the sparrows, naming stars, and counting hairs on people’s heads. Oh yeah, that and the eventual complete destruction of evil, of course. But that’s more of a hobby, I’m sure.

The past few days have been pretty blah. I don’t mean that I haven’t been busy, because I have certainly kept myself occupied with various tasks, but there are levels of mundane activities that I just don’t like to stoop to. I haven’t had to clean toilets with a toothbrush yet, but it’s those sorts of things that make you wish that you were bored, instead of having to deal with that. I guess we should even appreciate boredom, because there are worse things than not having anything to do. Now that I think about it, that’s the tactic parents always use. Never say you’re bored to your mom or dad. They’ll say something like, “Oh, well why don’t you go keep yourself busy and go wash the car?” or “Well go do something constructive like file my income taxes.” Yeah, telling your parents you’re bored is definitely a no-no.

Today, though, Kristin and I did something very constructive on our spare. But let me back up just a tad. Being Thursday, it was time for our traditional Birthday Thursday ritual, so at lunchtime we headed over to Jordan’s locker. When we got there, though, he was occupied thinking up ideas for activities at his co-op. We helped him with that, but by the time we finished, there really wasn’t enough time to do a birthday sign. So we postponed it until tomorrow, and right after lunch, Kristin and I escorted Jordan to the door to leave for his co-op. Then I got a brilliant idea. Let’s break into Jordan’s locker! Well, okay, it wasn’t an original idea, but still. Sean, the person whose locker is next to Jordan’s, got into his locker that morning, but didn’t do anything, so I was convinced that I could get in as well. Yesterday we had spent some time trying to open his locker, and Sean had tried some numbers that opened it up – but couldn’t remember what he had done. I saw him do it, however, so I had a rough idea of where the numbers were. I tried unsuccessfully for a while, and then Kristin tried and finally got it open. We tried a few more times and finally got a set of numbers that worked, and then it was time to decide what to actually do to his locker.

Yes sir, it was time to clean it out. Now, let me back up again. Before Jordan left for his co-op, we stopped by Kristin’s locker. There’s an empty one a few doors down from hers, and Jordan opened it up and jokingly told me to get in. On the inside of the door, there are some stick-on letters that say, “Brook’s.” I pointed that out to him, saying that I couldn’t go in there, because it was Brook’s locker. So, now fast-forward back to where I left off. I came up with the idea to empty out Jordan’s locker and put everything into the empty one by Kristin’s locker. The problem with that was that if we just left the locker open, someone could come by and take his stuff. And if we used his lock to close it, it would be simple for him to just find it and get his stuff back. No, it was going to take a bit more work than that. So we went over to Shopper’s in hopes of getting a combination lock. They didn’t sell any, though, so we walked back to where I parked my car instead. We drove over to Staples and I bought a combination lock, and then drove back to school. It was showtime.

Now, I must say that Kristin had some misgivings about this whole process. She thought it was kind of mean, and it was only by my peer pressure that I convinced her to do it. I figured I should probably leave the final decision up to her, since she was likely the one that would have to deal with Jordan the next morning – since I have spare first period, I wouldn’t be there. But anyways, she finally agreed to do it as long as we left some way for him to find his stuff afterwards. I came up with the idea to leave a ransom note in his locker. And I must say, it was a pretty ingenius plan. We emptied out his locker, put his stuff in the one by Kristin’s locker, and locked that one with the new one. I gave the combination to Kristin to put in her locker, and then we wrote up a ransom note to go in Jordan’s locker. It went something like this: “To Jordan: If you ever want to see your stuff again, meet me by my locker on September 21, 1964. OR ELSE. -Brook ‘The Locker Switcher’ Smith” I thought that gave enough clues to allow him to find his stuff. It was in my writing, so he would know it was Kristin and I that did it. Signing it from Brook to meet her at her locker would give away what locker it was, and the suspicious date is actually the combination for the lock. Of course, I had a bit of trouble with that. The combination was actually 64-21-09, but since there’s no 64th month of the year, I had to write it backwards. Oh well.

Everything was so ingeniusly concocted that it was obviously engineered by a master thief. Then the master thief had to make a few revisions because of his assistant who still had a conscience. Kristin thought it was too mean, so she made me write the combination on the back of the paper. She also wrote the locker number there as well. I didn’t like that at all, but whatever. Again, she was the one that would have to deal with the whiny Jordan the next day when he realized that all his stuff was gone. But with all that done, we taped it up in his locker, then closed the door and locked it with his lock like everything was business as usual. That took up the entire spare, and I must say that it was a much better use of time than sitting in the library doing nothing. I felt so great afterwards, because it was such a great prank. Apparently Sean and Jordan have another one planned for tomorrow – they’re going to switch locks with the girls next to them, since Jordan figured out both of their combinations. It’s like prank-o-rama over at North Park, and I just hope I don’t get hit next. Unfortunately, Kristin knows my combination, and I think Jordan knew it at one point as well. So I’m in the danger zone – but I know both of theirs as well, so they had better not try anything. Bwahaha!

Anyways, I think that’s everything for today. I’m in a pretty good mood right now. I just hope that mood stays for tonight, when I have to go out into the snow and change a stupid sign. Yuck. Let’s just hope that there isn’t much to change. But at any rate, I’m sure it could be worse. I could have to go out and change the sign naked…for some reason. I really haven’t figured out a reason that I would have to do that, but I’m sure there must be some reason for it somewhere. Like, say, I went into work but forgot my clothes? I don’t know. But anyways, I’m done typing, because now it’s just awkward saying anything else. Um…bye.

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