Change, Candy, and Customers

Disclaimer: This post is from the archives, and may not represent the current views of the author. It also may not be at all interesting to read. Continue at your own peril!

I don’t particularly have much to say today. I suppose the best idea is to give you a brief description of last night. I worked from 5:45-12, and that was plenty of time for some interesting things to happen, both good and bad. Please note that most of the night was nice and boring, but there’s nothing like a good boring spell to break up the monotony. Something like that, anyways.

One of the good things that happened really put me at ease, and made up for the fact that I had to clean 12 theatres in total – 6 theatres, twice. Near the beginning of the night, though, I found a five dollar bill on the ground while cleaning. That was pretty nice. I’m sure I can think of a few good ways to spend it. Later on as well, I was sweeping the lobby to clean up the mess of popcorn on the ground, and I found a quarter. That was nice. I put in my pocket, and continued on. Then I found another one. That was pretty cool – a whole fifty cents was mine for the taking. I continued my cleaning, and then saw another quarter. And another. And yet another. Yes, that’s right – a dollar and twenty-five cents in quarters. Apparently a kid had dropped his change – or actually, as the concession people explained it, he exploded. That’s what I figure, anyways, because they said that change flew everywhere. So I guess he left $1.25 cheaper. I would have given it back to him, of course, but this was long after everyone had already left for their movies – so really, it was the whole finders-keepers rule. Man, I love that rule. One last thing that was kind of nice was finding a small Gatorade bottle, unopened, in one of the theatres. I love finding free stuff. I drank it today for lunch. Mmm, blue sugar water.

Of course, it wasn’t all fun and games last night. About 9:45 PM or so, I was busy weighing all the bulk candy to get that closed down for the night. I was about halfway done that, when two girls came along and started looking at the candy. In the back of my head, with all the telekinetic power that I could muster (which was, unfortunately, none), I said to them, “Go away, please don’t look at the candy that I’m working on closing down.” At first, it seemed like it worked. They had a bag in their hand, but then they decided to buy the packaged candy and put the bag back. Thank goodness. But no – they had to go and make my night just that little bit more frustrating. Instead, they waited until I had finished weighing everything – I was on the very last one. Then they came back and started getting candy. Quite angry but trying to hide it, I just waited beside the scale and tried not to give them an evil stare. At the same time, I was marking down the ones that they were getting candy from so that I didn’t have to go and weigh all of them again.

So anyways, here’s the process that went on. One of the girls would scoop the candy into the little chute, and then open the chute to let it fall out, and the other girl would place the bag underneath. But unfortunately, that’s the exact order it happened in. The one girl opened the chute before the bag was underneath, and juice berries fell onto the floor. Somehow they didn’t understand what happened. But then they decided to try it again, this time with hot tamales. These fell out and spilled all over the floor – a lot of them, too. I just sort of looked away and tried not to mentally beat them to the ground for their complete stupidity. Anyways, they just sort of said, “Oops! Oh no!” and then continued to make my life horrible. They finally finished up getting their candy, and I immediately went to work to weigh them all again. I did that, and then started picking up the candy on the floor – since there was a lot of it, I had to put it in a bag and weigh it so it could be credited. The two girls were still in line, and they were watching me pick this candy up. I was sort of just sighing and telling myself that it was all part of the job. I went and weighed the spilled candy, and then came back around the bulk candy display. And that’s when I saw another couple eyeing the candy.

Well, I wasn’t going to go through that whole process again. I very politely told them that I was in the process of closing down the bulk candy, and pointed them to the packaged candy that was available. They sort of looked at me and asked, “So we can’t buy any candy?” I explained that I had just finished weighing everything, putting emphasis on the last word to make it sound like a lot of work. They disappointedly got into line to wait to get their own candy, and I quickly finished closing down the display so that no one else would come along and say, “Hey, let’s spill candy everywhere!” Of course, there is one last part of the story that I must mention. I was doing something else behind concession, and the two girls got to the front of the line to pay for their candy. Tracey weighed their candy and then rang it up, and they looked at the price and said, “Oh man, that’s expensive. Maybe we should get the candy in the packages instead.” Ugh. All I could do was shrug my shoulders and convince myself that some people were just idiots by birth. They had made me do all this extra work, and then didn’t even end up buying the candy. And of course, since they didn’t buy it, it had to be credited – making, of course, yet more work for me.

Of course, most of the night wasn’t as horrible as that story. I guess it just shows you the reason why I hate customers. It’s as if people walking into our front doors deposit their brains there first before coming in. And that’s being generous, assuming that they had brains to begin with. Honestly, I cannot even count the times that people come out from their movie around 11:00 PM and ask if concession is still open. We politely say, “No, sorry, we’re all closed up for the night.” Their next question is almost always, “So I can’t buy anything?” Like, honestly, am I the only one that sees the entire stupidity of that question? If we’re closed, generally that means that you can’t buy anything. Some people go even further. We answer their question by saying no, that they can’t buy anything, and then they ask, “But what if I give you exact change?” Like, are you honestly retarded? Can you not understand the word “closed?” That’s like being told that a door is closed, and then asking if you can walk through it. Well yes, I guess you can try, but you’d be quickly diagnosed with a mental disorder and given strong medication.

Customers really are the worst part about working at a business. Of course, without them, you wouldn’t have a business, but it’s still just horrible dealing with them. I really just have to laugh at the people who come before we’re open. They try the first door, which turns out to be locked. They then go to the second door and try it, hoping that perhaps we forgot to unlock a door or something. That turns out to be locked as well, and they try the third, fourth, and fifth, just to make sure. And because our doors are glass, it really is more like watching a caged animal in a zoo trying to chew apart the bars. It’s pitiful, really, seeing the ultimate depths of human intelligence. Honestly, I can assure everyone right now; when we open up the doors to the theatre, we open all the doors. We don’t just unlock one and wait for only the most intelligent people to pick the right one. It’s not some psychological experiment to determine who’s eligible for Mensa. In fact, when you go and try every single door, and then peer through the door to see if anyone else got in, I think it immediately disqualifies you for Mensa.

Anyways, I guess I should stop ranting about customers. It just bugs me quite a bit when I work there. I enjoy working at the theatre – I really do. The people I work with are great, and I certainly like the perks of my job as well. It’s just the customers that ruin the whole thing. They come through our doors, spreading stupidity and idiocy like bad cologne, then come and buy popcorn, spill it everywhere as they head off to their theatre, where they cause a commotion during the movie and get other people mad. Then, to top it all off, they only eat three pieces of popcorn, then leave the rest in the theatre for me to clean up. Yes, customers certainly are an inconvenience. On the plus side, though, they certainly make for good psychological case studies. Perhaps once I start going to university and learning about psychology, I’ll have to go back to work at the theatre, just so I can write a paper about mental disorders among movie-goers aged 0-120. Yes, that’s a good idea. A very good one indeed.

2 responses to “Change, Candy, and Customers”

Melissa

jeff..
if i’ve told you once, i’ve told you twice, you really shouldnt eat/drink what you find cleaning theatres. what if it was poisoned? then what? tisk tisk.. it could have had a needle in it. haha. ohh yeahh.. and i know what you can do with the $6.25 that you found. *cough* by mcdonalds for melissa *cough* haha. you can bring it to me at bcc! yes! wow i am just too smart. i like the 6 peice chicken mcnugget meal the best. i’ll be expecting it tomorrow when all the cool north park kids come to visit the even cooler people at bcc.

Jeff

Haha, oh Melissa, you’re such a joker. It brightens my day to hear such jokes as, “You should buy me food!” and “I am just too smart.” Hah, it’s still making me laugh even now.

So anyways, I think I’d probably notice if there was a needle floating around in my Gatorade. Besides, you can’t really poison it when it’s sealed shut. The cap was sealed on there like Fort Knox, it took a whole lotta man-power to even twist it off (and yes, by man-power, I mean my power).

But yeah, I think I will buy McDonald’s food with my money. And I’ll bring it over to BCC too! And then I’ll eat it in front of your face 🙂 Oh, the joy of free money…

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