Movies, Mustard, and Marquee Marvels

Disclaimer: This post is from the archives, and may not represent the current views of the author. It also may not be at all interesting to read. Continue at your own peril!

Oh boy, am I in a good mood. I just watched one of the most horrible movies I have ever seen, and I loved every minute of it. I was laughing through most of it, just because it was so completely ridiculous. Kids, just remember: don’t ever watch Daredevil. You’ll regret it the rest of your life. Then again, what more can you expect when it’s a movie about a blind superhero that uses a white cane to attack his enemies, and is played by Ben Affleck? The whole thing, from start to finish, is so completely ridiculous that I just had to continue watching it in hopes that it would actually get better. I mean, that’s what happened with Spider-Man. The beginning is horrible, but then it eventually gets somewhat better – for a superhero movie, that is. But this just never got better. I think I might just have to watch it again for another laugh. I mean, honestly, a blind superhero? I don’t have anything against blind people, but I’m sorry – this is just not possible. Genetic mutants – that’s alright. Spider-bitten geeks – well, they ended up doing a sequel, so it must have worked out. But blind superheros that apparently have a superhuman sense of hearing that works like sonar? Come on. This little kid goes blind, and suddenly he can jump off buildings and do backflips and stuff. It’s absolutely pathetic. I love it.

Last night was kind of interesting. I had to work, and I was expecting it to be pretty brutal, since I was working a stock/floor shift. It turned out to be alright, though. There was only one skid of boxes – and there’s usually about three. I guess they’re preparing for a slow week. On top of that, I was basically done everything by like 11:30 PM, so I ended up having time to spare, which was strange, considering I thought I was going to be pressed for time. The movies this week are pretty short, so the last one gets out at 11:45 PM. After weeks of being used to getting out at like 12:30 AM or later, I thought I’d have a hard time adjusting back to being rushed. But I practically had time to sit on a lawnchair and sip lemonade for a good hour or two. I was finished everything so quickly, and that included plunging out a sink full of hot water and mustard. Yes, that’s right – mustard. Somehow, the mustard overflowed the little container we put it in, so Mike and I brought the whole metal container that holds all the condiments into the janitor’s room to wash it down. There’s a little sink with a hose, so we washed it all down. Unfortunately, it doesn’t drain very well. I continued to use it for the rest of the night, dumping several buckets-full of hot water in there as well. By the time I got around to plunging it, there must have been a good six inches of murky, yellow water in there. So that was interesting. I’ve never seen that much mustard-water before. Then again, I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen mustard-water before.

Tonight should be as interesting as all Thursday nights are. In other words, I’m not looking forward to an exciting night. It’s likely just going to be one of those ho-hum days, as I go into work and do my usual marquee marvels. Grab the posters I need, change the signs, switch around posters – all that fun jazz. The only problem is that no one ever seems to remember that I work every Thursday. My friends always end up calling me up asking me if I want to do something, and I wish I could, but I have to tell them that I can’t. That’s pretty much the worst part of any job – having to turn down any ounce of fun that you ever come across. But oh well. I’m sure if I really want to, I can make tonight fun. Hopefully Oliver will be working. He always brings joy to my night, because he’s insane. Literally. Well, perhaps not literally, but as close as you can get to literally without the whole psychological profile and everything. He kind of scares me sometimes, but at least he’s funny at the same time. It seems that every time we’re both working and I turn around, he’s there and staring at me with a weird grin on his face. Strange. But then again, that’s okay, because I do the same thing to people sometimes. It’s fun being creepy, especially when you’re not actually creepy.

Before I start sounding more strange than I already am, I think I’ll stop writing. I never knew that three days off school could make me feel like I have so much time on my hands. It seems that every time I have things I need to do, there are never enough hours in a day, but once I get a whole bunch of free time, I never know what to do. I wish time was just more compliant to my wishes. It would make things so much easier. Perhaps one day, when I become president of the world, I’ll change the length of a day to whatever amount of time I need it to be. Yes, that’s the first thing I’ll do. But then again, that means I’ll actually have to put effort into becoming president of the world. Hmm. Perhaps I’ll just wear my watch that always stops when I put it on – yes, that’s much easier. It makes me feel like I have all the time in the world.

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