Authors, Anonymous Birthdays, and Axe Murderers

Disclaimer: This post is from the archives, and may not represent the current views of the author. It also may not be at all interesting to read. Continue at your own peril!

I know I’ve already mentioned this, but it’s sure good to be back blogging again. I really missed it for an entire month. I guess I just love writing, especially when it’s not forced on me in English class. People have told me various times that I should write a book. I tell them that, believe me, I’ve tried. Although I certainly love writing, I’m not sure I like the vulnerability that authors must have with their audience. I mean, people who write books on topics generally use examples from their personal life in order to lend credibility to their arguments. Autobiographies obviously deal with the person’s life entirely, and even fiction writers usually use aspects from their own life to write their stories. I mean, they write about the world, and the only perspective they have to view the world from is their own. I guess the authors that write biographies are the only ones that get it off easy, since they only have to write about someone else’s life.

I don’t know. I mean, while I don’t like the vulnerability that comes with writing books, as I mentioned, at the same time, I post about my personal life on the Internet. It doesn’t make much sense, but there’s a distinction. I guess I could really care less if some complete stranger knows details about my life, but when it comes to the people I know, that’s where I get nervous. Right from the start of this blog, I’ve been a little apprehensive about my friends or my family members reading it. I guess it’s just a fear of some sort of rejection once people find out what you’re truly like. After all, strangers only know you by what you write, but if someone already has one impression of you, and then they read about you and are forced to change their impression to a less desirable one, that’s where things get tricky. If I ever wrote a book, I’d have to watch what I say when using personal anecdotes, just because my parents might read it or something. I mean, if they ever got ahold of the address to this blog, I would immediately stop writing in it, no question about it. It’s just awkward. I felt pretty awkward when I found out my sister read it; I don’t care so much anymore, but it’s still kind of weird. And I’ve had the odd comment or joke made about me from some of my friends and what I write in these many, many pages.

I guess it’s just something I have to get over. It’s just strange, because it’s such an abstract sort of fear that I can’t really even express that well. It’s just…there. I suppose I might like to write a book once I get out of my house and out on my own or something. At least then, if my parents read it, it’s not really that big a deal, because they can’t really bring it up or anything. That’s why I don’t really care about my sister reading my blog, because she’s out of town and so she won’t really talk to me about it. I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore. With that weird fear aside, I would really like to write a book about something. What the topic would be, I’m not quite sure, but it would certainly be cool. Seeing a published book with your name on it would definitely be an awesome experience. But that’s all I’ll say about that for now, because I’ve already tried several times to write books, and they never get finished. I get a few chapters in, and then I lose interest in it. So if I ever get a book out there, it’ll definitely be a long way off yet.

Today was fairly uninteresting. I realized that soon before or sometime during my month-long hiatus, a tradition was started at lunchtimes at North Park that I have never written about. It’s certainly made lunchtimes much more interesting, and it’s brought my friends and me lots of laughs and good times. The tradition stems off of a real practice that is done at the school, where the friends of a person will put a birthday sign on that said person’s locker on their birthday. People will come along and sign it, and the person will take it off and treasure it forever, blah blah blah. But what Kristin, Jordan, and I started doing is making birthday signs, picking a random name and age, and then sticking it on a random person’s locker just to see what their reaction is. It’s so much fun. We make it look all nice, and then we all write weird things on it and sign it from imaginary people. It’s great. Lately there’s been a growing number of people who have helped us, since they find it just as funny as we do. I think there’s a bigger group every time we do it. We don’t do it every day, of course, since that would just get too suspicious, but we make sure to do it at least about twice a week.

We’ve had various reactions from people when they find this sign on their locker. Several people have just ripped it off, and others have simply moved it to a different locker. The one we did today actually took it off and put it inside their locker. That was disappointing. We usually like to keep them afterwards, because they’re just so funny. I’ve taken up the tradition of signing them all under the guise of “Kyle Smith.” Actually, that’s not quite true. Each time, I come up with a new nickname for this Kyle. The first time it was Kyle “The Snake” Smith. The next time, it was Kyle “The Trapeze Artist” Smith. And today’s was Kyle “The Ham Sandwich” Smith. It’s just so much fun, because no one ever knows it’s us anyways – although that might change since we make sure to always hang out in sight of the target locker to see the reaction of the person. On top of watching for the person coming and seeing the sign, we also have seen other people come by and actually write their own message on the sign. It’s great, because the person doesn’t actually even exist. It’s great. One person came along and wrote “G-Unit” on it in big, badly-drawn letters one time, so from then on, we’ve taken the time to sign it from this person. Someone always uses their wrong hand and writes it. We’re so considerate.

I guess that’s all I really wanted to say for today. I could go on to mention my intense dislike of the Christmas season and it’s horrible busy schedule, even to the point of missing the entire meaning of the season – but perhaps I’ll leave that until tomorrow. We shall see. That’s what I love about this blog; I never know what I’m going to write about until I actually sit down and write about it. It’s like a surprise every day of my life. I guess that’s the real reason I missed writing in my blog for a month – there was just no surprise to life anymore! And if there’s one thing I’ve learned about life, it’s that everyone needs some surprise in their life every once in a while. That’s why I make sure to come up behind people and, in a deep, raspy voice, threaten to kill them and their families. Honestly, I’m not serious about it. Really. (That was a morbid joke, for those who didn’t understand. I’m not actually an axe murderer, that’s just a hobby of mine that I like to do in my spare time. Sorry, another morbid joke.)

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