I’m not even quite sure what to say about yesterday. Everything was going pretty well, and then right at the end of the night, something horrible happened that just made the whole day a complete failure. In light of that, I don’t really want to talk too much about the good part of the day. I guess I will anyways, though.
About 11:30 AM I got a call from Jeff. He told me that Kristy and Erica had both ditched us – since we had been planning to hang out together. He asked if I still wanted to do something, and I said sure. He came by in a few minutes and picked me up, and then we went to Wal-mart so he could get some Auto Febreze for his car to make it smell nice. We walked through the automotive section and couldn’t see it, so then we looked for it under Household Cleaners and didn’t see it there either. After a while, Jeff just said to forget it, and we went to leave. On the way out the door, there it was – sitting on a shelf display in one of the aisles. It was pretty strange. So he paid for it and we headed out. He sprayed it inside his car, and because it was still wet, we got it all over our clothes when we got in. Oh well. So we smell like Auto Febreze – who cares?
After that, we headed out to get some lunch. We went to Wendy’s and ate there, having a nice little chat about North Park while doing so. We then rented Delta Force: Black Hawk Down from Blockbuster and then headed to his house to play it. It was actually a pretty sweet game. We played some of the co-op missions and did not too badly. You basically just have to shoot the people that are shooting at you without hitting your own guys or civilians. It’s not rocket science, but it’s still pretty fun. Anyways, I told him that I had an eye appointment, so I needed to be home by 2:30 PM, so after a while of playing the game, he drove me home. I headed straight out the door again to pick up my mom from work, since she also had an appointment at the same time. Then I drove us over to the optometrist’s office.
I’ve been looking for a good opportunity over the past couple of days to tell my parents that I’m going out with Melissa. I was nervous because I didn’t exactly know how they’d react to it; however, I decided that I would tell my mom on the way to the optometrist – if she was in a good mood, of course. Well, she got in the car and seemed alright, so I took a deep breath and told her. I used the “hypothetical” approach. “Can I ask you a question? Hypothetically, how would you react if I told you that I had decided to go out with someone?” It didn’t work out too badly. She asked a few questions, like if her mom was okay with it and everything, but then she said what I didn’t want to hear: “We’ll talk about it more tonight.” I didn’t want to hear that, because that “we” meant not just my mom and me, but also dad as well. I mean, it’s not like I’m scared of my dad, but he has a tendency to react negatively to anything that doesn’t quite make sense to him.
Anyways, we got to the office, and I had my eyes checked almost right away. The guy told me basically what he had said the last time I was in – that I didn’t need glasses, but if I was having trouble seeing far away, then I could come in and get some. It turned out that my mom had an appointment with the same doctor, so I ended up waiting there for a while. Quite a while – probably about an hour or an hour and a half. While I sat there, a mother came in with the three most obnoxious kids ever. She had absolutely no control over them. One kid, whose name was Dalton (because the mom kept calling him that), had this blonde mullet. It was straight until right at the very end, when it suddenly went curly. It was very strange. Anyways, this guy couldn’t shut up for even one second. He was talking as he did anything and everything. He was talking to no one in particular – just talking or yelling as he walked around or played with some of the toys that they have in the waiting room. As I sat there, I wanted to just pick up the kid and throw him out a window or something.
As time went on, the kids and mother had their appointments. Unfortunately, though, they weren’t all handled at the same time, so when the mother had her appointment, that left two or three of her kids with no supervision at all. Two of the kids started playing a game of tag in the hallways. They were running up and down and nobody seemed to stop them. A couple ladies told them that they couldn’t run in the building, but the kids just ran right by them and completely ignored them. One lady squatted down and said, “I have a secret to tell you. Come here.” The little girl got really close and the lady told her and the other kid that they couldn’t run in the halls. Both kids nodded their heads; they then proceeded to run away to continue their game of tag. By this time, I wanted to pound the kids into the ground with a big hammer. At one point, the kid with the mullet ran into the waiting room, went over to the door and locked it, then ran away again. One of the secretaries looked over at the other one and asked, “Did he just lock the door?” The second one didn’t think that he’d be able to reach that high, but the first one went over to check, and sure enough, it was locked.
Eventually my mom got out and I finally escaped that torturous waiting room. I drove my mom to work, and had to wait in the car there for a little while as she finished up what she had been in the middle of before she had to leave for the appointment. After waiting about twenty minutes there, she finally came out, and we drove home. We had supper, and I had to tell my dad what I told my mom. Both of them were surprisingly reasonable about it. They had some messed up view of what “dating” was, though. My dad basically told me that I had been dating a bunch of girls by hanging out with them. I said, well yes I had technically, but not really, because they wouldn’t consider it dating. He then asked me what the difference was between hanging out with them in groups and hanging out with Melissa in groups. I couldn’t really tell him the difference; there just was one. I don’t know. So then he proceeded to tell me that I had been dating a bunch of girls. I said, no, that’s called having friends. But whatever. The point is that they were alright with it, and they agreed with Mrs. Staats that hanging out in groups was good. I just let them talk themselves out of things to say, since otherwise they get mad that you’re cutting them off. It’s just hard to do that since they like to repeat themselves thirty times over before they’re finished. Oh well.
After supper, I went onto MSN, and Angelie told me that people were hanging out at Greenbrier Park at 7:00 PM. I was told to call Jeff and Erica, and whoever else I could think of. Having just gotten away from a conversation all about Melissa, I decided to call her as well – there was no answer, though. Jeff said he would come, and Erica was at work, so I didn’t get ahold of her. Later on, when she got home, her sister told her I called, so she called back, and my mom told her that I was at Greenbrier. So she showed up. I then called Kristy as well, since Angelie told me that she’d probably want a ride. She couldn’t come, though, so there was no point in me calling her in the first place. Oh well.
I drove over to Greenbrier Park and waited there for a few minutes for people to show up. Kristin and Michelle walked over, and Dave gave Angelie a ride there. As mentioned, Jeff and Erica eventually showed up, and Meagan walked over after a little while. We played frisbee for a while, then decided to walk over to Wal-mart since Erica wanted food and McDonalds was really the only place within walking distance. After being there for a while, we tried to figure out what to do. Some people wanted to watch a movie, and some didn’t. I didn’t care what people did, since my parents had told me that the car had to be home by 10:00 PM. Why? I have no clue. Parents just like to be stupid like that sometimes. They don’t like how late I’ve been out the past few nights, I guess, so they decide to make an unreasonable time to be home at just to make themselves feel better. Anyways, we got the cars, and then decided finally to go over to Angelie’s house.
Once there, we sat there for a while just talking and trying to catch Cocoa Puffs in our mouths from across the room. Angelie suggested that we go get CrazyFries at Fast Eddie’s, so we did just that. Jeff and I both drove over, and we sat there at the picnic table eating them. After a while, I asked what time it was, and it was about quarter to 10, so I decided I had better head home. Meagan had wanted a ride, so she got in as well. Here’s where the night just went downhill. I had been having a great time, and now I was attempting to exit the Fast Eddie’s parking lot. Now, you must realize that when I say “parking lot,” I don’t really mean that, since they don’t so much have a parking lot as a tiny little area where about three cars can park. I was in the middle between a truck and Jeff’s car, so I backed up to try and turn around to go out the exit. I backed up, checking behind me to make sure I didn’t hit the wall or something stupid like that. Thud. Too late. All I could say was, “Oh crap, that wasn’t good.” I decided that I hadn’t been going that fast, so it probably wouldn’t have done anything. So I drove forward and went out the entrance instead.
I dropped Meagan off at her house and then decided that I should probably check the back of the car for damage, just to be sure. I looked on the bumper and didn’t see anything, so I breathed a sigh of relief and was just about to get back into the car when I saw it. Big scratches with red and yellow paint all over it on the right rear corner of the bumper. And that was the exact moment that the sinking feeling came over me. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat, and just got back into the car to drive home.
My first thought was just to not say anything and let my dad find out. Then I thought, “No, I can’t do that. He’s already taking the car in tomorrow to the body shop to get the front bumper fixed from the lady that backed into it, so he’d be even more mad if he found out about it afterwards.” My next thought was to tell him about it, but just say that I had found it like that – someone else had done it and not had the decency to wait around to tell me about it. That idea was alright, but then I finally decided that I couldn’t use it for two reasons. The first reason was that it wasn’t too believable that I would have seen it that quickly, since it’s on the back of the car and everything. The second reason was that it was a lie, and I knew it. I’ve been trying to serve God and develop a deeper relationship with Him. How could I give my parents a complete lie and still keep a good relationship with God at the same time? It was impossible, and I knew it. So I asked God for some serious help, and worked up the courage to tell my dad the truth. I felt sick, but I knew I had to do it. There just wasn’t any other way.
I drove into the garage, and looked at the damage one more time. Then I waited for a moment, took a nice deep breath to try to calm myself, and walked in the door. My dad asked how my night was, and I said, “Alright,” then told him about it. I knew I couldn’t dance around the issue. I had to say it right out, so I did. I told him that I scratched up the car. I told him how it happened, and then we went out to the garage to look at it. He was angry; I could see it in his eyes, but he held it in. I said all the things that I needed to say to him, and then went up to my room, still feeling sick. I knew I was deep in a pile of something-or-other, but at the same time I knew I had done the right thing, if that helped any. I sat in my room for a little while with the door closed, and I heard my dad come up the stairs. I heard him go into his bedroom where my mom was and tell her about it. They talked about it for a few minutes, and then my dad came and knocked on my door. He then opened it and said, “You’re going to have to take the bus to work tomorrow.” I just nodded my head. I knew something like that was coming.
After a little while of feeling sick, my next big decision came up. With all the car problems we’ve been having, my parents are having to pay huge expenses – on top of the already high gas prices. They paid for the last time I scratched up the car, and I knew that this one was going to run up quite a big bill. So I mustered up my courage and went into their bedroom to talk to them. I thought for a moment, “Why are you doing this? Come on, just pay for it if they ask you to, but don’t volunteer to. I mean, if they want you to, they’ll tell you.” I thought about that for a moment, then dismissed it. I love my parents too much to do that to them. It was my fault, and I’m not going to take advantage of the fact that they may just pay for it themselves because they love me. So I went to their room and told them that if they told me the cost, I’d pay for it. We talked for a little while about the whole thing, and I’m not sure whether they’re going to make me pay for it, but they’ll most likely take away my driving privileges for a while. That’s not very appealing, but I deserve it. I screwed up, and I have to take the consequences for it. After all, it’s not even my car. It’s theirs, so they make up the rules.
Anyways, I don’t know what to say anymore. I was really mad at myself last night for making such a stupid mistake, but I think I’m a bit better now. I just wish I could do even one thing right without screwing something up. I mean, here I was, making sure I to stay on my parents’ good side. I didn’t want them to suddenly get mad and turn around on how well they took the news of Melissa and me. I mean, I even was home at 10:00 just to make sure that they would think of me as responsible and mature. And then I went and screwed it all up just because I misjudged the distance from a wall by an inch or two. Things like that always happen to me. I’ll be doing everything right, and then I make one little slip-up that wasn’t my intention, but was entirely my fault, and all my hard work goes down the drain. I even gave up trying to be successful for a while, and I screwed that up. And now, even though I never meant to hit that wall, the fact still remains that I did, and I have to suffer the consequences for my mistake. It’s like I do so well for so long, and then suddenly someone somewhere pushes a button and I never can complete what I tried to do. Some people say they feel helpless because they can’t control life and others’ actions, but my problem isn’t even that. On top of not being able to control others, I can’t even control my own self and keep from screwing up. And this isn’t just like, “Oops, I spilled a glass of milk. Now I have to wipe it up.” This is an expensive mistake. I hate that I can’t even keep myself to screwing up in small, insignificant circumstances.
Anyways, I think I’m done. I have to go get ready for work, because I now have to take the bus there. That means I have to be there a half hour early, but hey – consequences, right? I might as well just lock myself in a closet and save the world from all harm. It’d be so much easier if clumsy people like me just weren’t allowed in public. If people gathered them all up and put them in one building, then they could bump into each other in there and probably end up blowing the entire place up, but at least the rest of the world wouldn’t have to deal with them. Whatever. I guess I need to move on; it’s just hard when I have no mode of transportation and the next bus doesn’t come for half an hour. It’s hard to move anywhere when you’re stuck in a rut.