Well, I must say that yesterday was certainly a day of ups and downs. Soon after posting yesterday’s entry, Steph phoned me up and provided the means of distraction that I needed. She told me that we were going to go to Apps Mill – soon after, Josh, who was also there, decided that he didn’t want to go since he had to work “soon.” Of course, it would still have given us a couple hours there, but he was whiny, so Steph told me just to come over to Kristy’s house and we’d figure something out for what to do after Josh left for work. We watched Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, then Josh left, and we decided – well, they decided – to go hang out at Wal-Mart for a while until Zeth got off from work.
I suppose I probably wasn’t all that fun to be around yesterday. With the whole situation going on yesterday, I was not in a good mood, and after getting up early to cut the grass, I was grumpy and sore. I just kind of followed Kristy and Steph around Wal-Mart making sarcastic comments about whatever they looked at. I soon realized that I really wasn’t having fun at all with this, and was probably ruining their fun as well, so I tried to shut up, but I don’t think it worked too well. Soon I didn’t say much, and I think they likely appreciated that more than my sarcasm. Anyways, soon before Zeth got off work, we went to wait outside the theatre on the bench there. I almost fell asleep on that thing – I would have if it had been more comfortable. While on the bench, we tried to figure out where to go for supper. We finally settled on the food court at the Lynden Park Mall, because we wanted something cheap, but still wanted choice.
So after Zeth got out, we headed out to my car and drove over to the mall. We ate our food, then drove over to the Royal Bank, because Zeth needed money. Then we headed over to Duey’s Ice Cream, because that place rocks. We got ice cream, then headed over to the park. That was by far the worst and best part of the day at the same time. Why was it bad? Well, the place just reeked of memories for me. A while ago, they were good memories; now, they’re mostly just neutral. Kristy told me to go to the Lynden Hill Park or whatever it’s called – I didn’t know which park that was, so I just followed her directions. As we neared the place, I thought, “Oh no, please not that park.” Of course, every time you say that, it always turns out to be that one – and it was. As soon as the blue hut with the yellow flag came into sight, all the memories of last summer came flooding back into my mind.
So there I was, in the park, alone with my friends. They were there, but I was still alone with my thoughts. Gratefully, they decided to use the shade of a tree to lie down under rather than the shade of the blue hut. And as I lay there beside them, I thought of how different I am now than I was then. I thought of all the times I shared with Kayla in that park and at her house. In that blue hut was where we first kissed; it was where we talked for as long as we could or just sat there silently. And all those memories were so awesome back then. But now they’re just that – memories. I won’t say regrets, but they’re not pleasant, because they’re over. That part of me is dead, and I’ve moved on to someone else. I just don’t want the same thing to happen with them. I don’t want a summer-long thing; I want something that’s going to last. Because if it’s not going to last, then what’s the point of it?
Eventually Kristy went over to the big hill to have fun or something, and Zeth probably figured that she was more interesting than Steph and I were, so he headed over there as well. They were separating themselves again, but I didn’t care. I suppose that’s pretty much what the park is for. That’s where I isolated myself, and they went and did the same thing, so I could understand. Steph and I just went over to the swings and had a good talk. I must say that if I had to pick one of my friends as being my “best friend,” it’d probably be her. Ever since I got over my stupidity and just accepted her as a friend instead of trying to impress her or something, we’ve gotten along so well. She’s one of the people that I can tell pretty much anything to, and that’s awesome. She’s also one of the people who actually listens to what I’m saying, which is pretty amazing too. Sometimes I get the feeling that half the people I’m talking to aren’t really listening, and the other half are deaf or something. I don’t get that as much anymore, but sometimes I can still see boredom in people’s eyes and I know that’s my time to just shut up.
Anyways, Steph and I walked around for a bit and talked about stuff. We actually had a pretty good talk; it was mostly about relationships. I was in a really reflective mood by that point, just because of all the memories that just flooded my mind. We talked about the past, we talked about the present, and we talked about the hopeful future. The future we talked about ended up being the very near future, because we talked about me asking Mrs. Staats to take Melissa out on her birthday. Since her birthday’s a week away, I needed to get that done soon. More on that later. Eventually, Kristy and Zeth came down off the hill and came to look for us. We had wandered away from where we had been, so they called us over from the other side of the park. Steph just said, “Oh, now they want to go? Well maybe we don’t. So let’s just keep walking and make them wait.” We walked around for a bit more, talking about more stuff – again, mostly about relationships – and then met back up with them. Then we got back into the car and headed over to the Staats’ house.
Mrs. Staats had invited a bunch of people over to her house to watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding; Zeth and I stayed downstairs for most of the time playing Halo. Us guys gotta stick together, y’know? On the way into the house, though, Steph made some comment about what I was going to have to do that night – asking Mrs. Staats, that is. Kristy just made a really long “Awww” sound, while Zeth did the better thing by actually giving me advice about it. He suggested I wait until Mary Lou was there, because she’d be on my side. So Zeth and I played some Halo in the meantime. I actually was doing pretty well; we were on a map he didn’t know, so I actually was up 10-3 for a change. Of course, he came back to beat me 11-10, but oh well. Once it was 10-10, I told him that next kill won, because then I was going up to ask his mom. He got the next kill, and I got up and made my way to my doom. I headed upstairs, and there were Mrs. Staats and Mary Lou in the perfect position, both sitting down at the kitchen table. I went in for the kill.
I’ll try to replay it as best I can, although I never remember a lot of the details. I began by asking the standard, “Can I talk to you for a second?” She just said something like, “Uh-oh, okay then,” and so I began. I said, “Okay, hypothetically speaking, how would you react if I were to ask for your permission to take Melissa out on her birthday?” I had been trying to figure out an appropriate strategy for a few days now, and I thought likely this would be the best approach. If she said no, I could always say that technically I didn’t ask, I only asked how she would react if I did ask. Anyways, she thought about it for a moment, and I sat there trying to prepare myself for whatever followed. She then said, “Well, I’ve had a rule for my kids that they’re not allowed to ‘date’ until they’re 18, unless it’s in groups. So I’d have to say no, just because of that. If you wanted to set something up with a bunch of people, that’d be fine, but otherwise I’d have to say no.” I just sort of nodded my head, said “okay” a couple of times as well as a “thank you,” and walked back downstairs. At least I did it. I came back down and Zeth asked me how it went. I told him, and he said, well at least he gave me props for going up and doing it.
The thing that really confused me about the whole thing was that several people have told me that the rule has been that they’re not allowed to date until 16. I mean, I don’t want to say that Mrs. Staats just lied to my face, but if she did, that bothers me. I wouldn’t have even asked if I knew that the rule was 18; I would have respected that. But she’s turning 16, and so since I thought the rule was that age, I wanted to do something special and surprise Melissa with it. If she just decided to change the rule in front of me to give me a reason better than “No, I don’t want you to,” then I would have rather appreciated the truth instead. I can handle and accept the truth. But I suppose no matter the reason, it’s still her decision, so I wasn’t going to push it by arguing with her. That’d only lower my position.
So, Zeth and I played some Halo for most of the movie. After 75 kills by him, we stopped, and then went upstairs. He went up to his room to play guitar, and I just sat and watched the ending of the movie. I didn’t really understand what was going on all that well, except that two people were getting married, and one family was Greek. But I guess that’s easily observable from just the title as well. After the movie finished, we played a game of Spoons. We played half the game upstairs in the kitchen, but we were being too loud, so we had to move it downstairs. People were throwing spoons way over to the other side of the room to make people run for them, and people were tackling others just to grab their spoon. It was pretty funny. I eventually lost, but I blame that on first the fact that I was sitting at the corner of the table, meaning I was in the worst position to grab spoons, and second the fact that Zeth cheated on one round, because there was a spoon on the other side of the room that I needed, and he grabbed it, although he already had one, and gave it to Kristy. With that in mind, I argued unsuccessfully that I didn’t deserve to lose on that round, because I would have had the spoon if Zeth wasn’t there. But anyways, after losing at Spoons, I played a couple games of air hockey with Steph and beat her both times. I felt better after that.
Anyways, Steph and Melissa went upstairs and headed to the kitchen to talk, where she told Melissa what had gone on. During the movie, when I was upstairs watching it, Steph turned around and asked me thumbs-up or thumbs-down. I gave her a thumbs-down sign, so she knew at least that the answer was negative, although she didn’t know what was said. So anyways, after not too long, I went back upstairs to head home, and they called me into the kitchen to talk with Melissa. She asked me what happened, I told her what her mom said, and she just looked disappointed and told me that wasn’t the rule at all. She said that she’d yell at her mom or something, to which I just kind of shrugged my shoulders. I figure it can’t really hurt; maybe it’ll help, who knows? Anyways, I gave Kristy a ride home, and she was asking me what happened as well; I told her the situation, and she agreed that she had also heard that the rule was at 16. She suggested that maybe it was because Zeth and Josh had waited much longer to go out with people; I mean, Zeth is 18 now, so that would make sense. But I think it’s more that Mrs. Staats just wants to protect Melissa, since she’s had some bad experiences in the past. I mean, she seems to like me and everything, so I don’t think it’s anything personal against me. But anyways, whatever the reason, it was disappointing.
That was my day yesterday. It really was an up-and-down day, from being confused in the morning, tired soon after that, grumpy even further after, then being hit with a reflective state, slowly getting into a good mood, then being disappointed right near the end of the day. It was a mix of so many differing emotions that I’m still trying to sort through them. My dreams last night were really erratic and incomprehensible; I don’t really remember what they were about, except that they were really random and sudden. I’d be doing something normal and then something strange would happen, then suddenly it’d be back to normal again. I think that just left me even more confused when I woke up. So here I am, still trying to figure out what went on yesterday and how I can best react to it. As of now, I don’t think I’ve really reacted to any of it yet. I should feel sad or disappointed or something, but I just feel sombre at best. I think it’ll hit eventually, but I still have the situation I mentioned before to deal with. Last night, I lay there in bed and just prayed that God would give me peace and strength to deal with what’s just suddenly come up in my life. Two situations within 24 hours is hard, along with the pressure to try and find a job. It’s just getting to be a lot.
Anyways, with this last paragraph, I’d just like to thank my friends for being there. Though they likely didn’t even know it, they helped out a lot yesterday just by phoning me up and giving me something to do. I’m always amazed at just how such good friends could find a guy like me. God has certainly given me a great blessing with each and every one of my friends, because they’re all awesome people. I just hope that I can be even half the friend to them that they are to me. So thank you to you all, whether you read this or not.