Last night was funny. First, my aunts and uncles and cousins came over and we had a barbecue. We had chicken and sausages and burgers, and I cooked them all up, being the resident barbecue king of the family. Once I put on the hamburgers, though, there was so much smoke that my eyes were watering like crazy. The fire was flaring up because of the grease and basically enveloping the burgers – and I had the burners on quite low. Anyways, we cooked so much food, and now we have quite a bit of leftovers. And that’s a good thing.
After a while, I got a call from, you guessed it, Melissa. She told me to come over, and that if I didn’t, Josh would drag me over, or something like that. Since my sister and Bethany were just heading off to go to Braeside, I asked them to drop me off at the Staats’ house, and they did so. Erica, Dave, and Natalie also were there. The girls wanted to watch The Notebook. The guys went downstairs to play Halo. Josh crushed me at it, and then I crushed Dave at it. After a while, though, it got monotonous with one person dominating, so we headed upstairs and watched about the last half of the movie.
I must say, it’s a horrible movie. And I know that any girl that’s reading this and has seen the movie is probably muttering under her breath right now and plotting strategies to kill me. But think about it: the movie shows – and condones – a woman who decides that it’s more important for her to be happy than to fulfill a commitment she made to a man. After the movie was over, we had a massive argument about this, guys versus girls. She was a horribly immoral woman, and the girls in the room were saying that her actions were okay and acceptable. But she made a choice between doing the right thing (fulfilling the commitment she made to a man to marry him) and doing what felt good, and she chose the latter. And this was shown as acceptable. I mean, evaluating this from a Christian perspective, it’s not right at all. I mean, think just for a second how the man she was going to marry must have felt. Here he was, confident that he had found someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and she goes and leaves him with no prior warning to go have sex with someone she loved a long time ago. Then, when she comes back to him, he accepts her back and forgives her, and she goes and leaves him yet again to live with the other guy for good. Think just how crushed that guy must have been. Here was the woman who had told him she loved him and would marry him, and she goes and breaks her promise to him to go after this other man that she “loved.” The most decent thing she could have done was either not get engaged to him in the first place or at least have broken it off before she went and had wild rampant sex with this other guy. Sheesh.
Then there was the guy, Noah I believe was his name. This guy told the woman that he “loved her.” And back and forth throughout the film, we see them as an old couple, and he has stayed by her side all that time, even in the midst of her dementia. That is pretty honourable; I’ll give him full credit for that. However, let’s examine what he did in the first place. Here he came across an old love of his who comes back to his place. He knows she’s engaged – she’s taken, in other words. And yet he goes and ruins her relationship with this other person in spite of that. How is that love? How is that respect? If he had truly loved her, he would have let her go when he knew she was taken. She was another man’s bride-to-be, and he should have respected that. That he didn’t do, and that made me disgusted. Maybe he figured it out in the end with his commitment to her, but the end doesn’t justify the means. Just because they “lived happily ever after” doesn’t mean that they did the right things to get there.
I know any girls reading this are likely still arguing with me over this in their heads. They don’t like what I’m saying because they want to believe that it’s just a nice love story that doesn’t have any basis in the real world. And perhaps it doesn’t; after all, it’s Hollywood. But every movie has a message to it. Every movie is made by a director who has a certain philosophy on life; that philosophy shapes the movie into what it becomes. So there’s no escaping the message sent by movies. The critical part is that you evaluate that message as truth or falsehood. Sure, it’s a nice love story, but the principles it carries within it are wrong – wrong, wrong, wrong. True love is not how it’s displayed in that movie, especially as shown by that woman. I would be disgusted by anyone who tried to show me that type of love. Life isn’t all about happiness and getting what you want. Near the end, Noah asks the woman, “What do you want? Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks or trying to please anyone else. What do you want?” At first glance, sure, this seems to be sound. But life isn’t about living for yourself. That’s a simple thing called selfishness, and we have far too much of it in this world already without movies trying to impress women with the concept that what they want is most important. How can love be selfish? The answer is that it can’t. If it is, it’s not really love in the first place.
Imagine for a second that you’re a woman (if you’re not already). Now imagine that there’s a man that you really love. This man tells you that he is devoted to you and loves you so very much. You two make a promise to each other by a ring on your finger that says that you will get married. You’re committed to each other and everything’s going great. Now imagine that this man that you love goes off and finds his old girlfriend that he had years ago. He goes off, cuts off most communication with you, and has passionate sex with her. He comes back a few days later when you’ve gone searching for him because you don’t even know what’s going on and why he hasn’t called. He tells you he’s sorry and asks for your forgiveness, which you struggle to give him, but finally do because of your commitment to him. You’re convinced that the wounds will heal, even though he betrayed you and couldn’t remain faithful to you. Now, just when you’ve accepted this act of forgiveness and are starting on the process of healing, he decides to pack up his bags and goes to live with this woman that he said he was truly sorry about. He makes his final choice to live with her instead of with you.
Now how do you feel about that? What would your reaction be if this happened to you? Would you see his actions as the result of his love for you or for the other woman? Would you accept it readily and say, “Well, I guess she was the right one for him. That’s okay, it’s great that they can be happy together!” Somehow, I doubt it. This man’s actions were as a result of his selfishness and pigheaded lust for another woman in spite of the commitment he made. Male or female, it’s the same thing. Women don’t get to choose what’s right or wrong based on their feelings any more than men do. And that’s what this movie – at the very least, the half of the movie telling the story – is about. It’s about a choice between the one you lust after and have feelings for, and the one who you’re committed to. Had this woman decided that, even though it would be hard for her to give up the other person, she needed to fulfill her promise and keep her word to the man she was engaged to, I would have great respect for her. I would have great respect for the director of the movie, for that matter. And I’m quite sure that it’s very possible to “live happily ever after” with someone who you know is committed to you. I’d rather have that than someone who says they love me. People lie. Actions don’t.
With all that said, I think I’m done. If you still don’t agree with me, call me up and we’ll duke it out. I know I’m right, because I know that’s what a Christian should have done in that situation. As for the other half of the movie, with the couple when they’re old, I find the man’s actions to be respectable in spite of his previous failure. At least he didn’t screw up twice. But as for a movie to watch, I’d only recommend it if you’re wanting some good arguing material, or if you want to have a bunch of crying girls all around you. I’m not even going to get into that; I could go into a big lengthy discussion about it if I wanted to, but I’ll spare you all. And as well, with what I said above compared to last night, I’d also just like to point out that most of what I said last night was mainly to aggravate the girls there. I was mostly joking around then, although I meant what I said. I just kept the argument going to keep things interesting – it’s fun to get girls mad, especially when they’re crying.
That was basically all of last night. I called my parents to get picked up, and was kind of surprised when they still weren’t there after about ten minutes – even though we live about two minutes away. When they finally got there and I left, my mom was quite aggravated. Apparently my dad had told her it was the one on the end (which it is), but she didn’t know where the end was. I was confused when she was telling me. I don’t think she saw the last door, because it’s around the corner, though the railing is clearly visible. So then she was telling me that since there are no lights on that side at all, she had to go right up to the door to just be able to see what number it was. Then she went into a spiel about how it was dangerous having no lights there at all, and asked me if I felt unsafe walking down there at night. I told her no, I didn’t. I figure if the Staats can live there with eight kids and not feel unsafe, they should know what goes on there better than I do. Besides, the place is monitored pretty closely by police anyways, so if anything were to happen, it’d be caught quite quickly. I guess maybe it’s just that I’m not paranoid. Meh.
Moving right along to today, the best word to describe me would be: tired. It wasn’t too late when I got home, but I had to get up early to be at church for worship practice. That, combined with my previous tiredness from the past few nights, really sucked everything out of me. I suppose that summer is all about late nights having fun, but I just wish that I could get some good sleep after those late nights to be ready for the next one. But anyways, I think I’ll survive. I managed to spend almost an hour writing this, so I guess I can keep myself awake. I’ll just make myself two whole pots of coffee, dump in a bag of sugar, and I’ll be fine for a while. Don’t mind my bloodshot eyes and twitching.