Bloggish Celebrations and Adultish Laughter

Disclaimer: This post is from the archives, and may not represent the current views of the author. It also may not be at all interesting to read. Continue at your own peril!

Well, this is my 292nd post on this thing. I suppose I could have just not said anything and left the surprise until my 300th, but I was afraid I would forget and just not have any celebration at all. So lets have a toast to my 292nd post on this friggin’ massive blog of mine. Cheers!

Now that the festivities are over until another 8 posts go by, let me tell you just a tiny bit about my day. To make a short story even shorter, nothing much has happened. I got up, had a shower and got dressed, then was pleasantly greeted by my father who asked why I hadn’t called Sears yet. My sister went and took her driver’s test to get her G license, passed, and is now driving like a maniac (well, actually she’s upstairs, but oh well). I called Sears once the store actually opened, got the lady’s voice mail, and it said she was on holidays until August 8th or 9th. She then rhymed off the extension of another supervisor, which I then called and left a message on his voice mail. I called Marco Sales as well, and found out that the lady I thought was looking at my resume actually had an employee doing that for the summer instead. So I got patched through to her voice mail, left a message there, and am now thoroughly confused, waiting for someone to call me back.

Once my sister came home from her driving test, I was reminded that I needed to book my own test. I headed on over to the DriveTest website and plugged in my driver’s license information. Then it asked me for the date of completion of my driver’s education program. To do that, I had to find my ABC Driving School certificate. Now, behind me at this current moment is a filing cabinet with four drawers. I figured that likely it would be in there. However, I was at a complete loss as to what it would be filed under. So I searched around for a while, gave up rather quickly, and phoned my mom at work to ask her where it would be. She told me to look for the file labelled “Jeff’s Report Cards,” and it would likely be in there.

I searched for that for a couple minutes, finally realizing that it had been misfiled, and then pulled it out to have a look inside. In it, I found report cards from my most recent one from Grade 12, all the way back to my kindergarten “report cards.” As I flipped the pages, it was literally like looking back in time. I found a book list of the books I had read in each month one year. I recognized most of the books, and was almost in shock at how many I remembered. I found certificates and reports from the Kiwanis Festival way back when I played piano and sang (boy, those unhappy memories). Each piece of paper was like a slice of history, following my life through the years from ever since I was just a wee child. However, in the inch-and-a-half thick file, the driver’s ed. certificate was nowhere to be found. I saw my entire life outlined in an inch and a half, and yet I couldn’t find a stupid piece of paper that I just needed to get a few numbers off of.

Anyways, with that, I gave up and decided that I’d have to wait until my mom came home so she could find it for me. That’s been my day so far. Tonight, there’s a going-away party for Jael before she leaves to go back to Switzerland. She’s a pretty cool person, and Lana set up this party and invited all the people from the school for her. It should be pretty cool, if not awkward due to the teachers being there. I think it should be great, though.

Last night was fairly uneventful, but not entirely so. People from my parents’ life group at my church were at my house eating ice cream, so I was hidden away in my room trying to escape that sort of conversation I like to call “adultish.” It often goes along with “adultish laughter,” a sort of roar that is best heard through a wall, floor, or any other obstacle. I’m sure it can be heard for miles. It normally occurs when your parents invite other adults over, or your parents drag you along to someone else’s house. Then, following their primal adultish instincts, they sit in a living room or some other place with a coffee table, sip coffee or tea, and talk about anything remotely interesting or embarrassing to their children. Heard clearly and at various intervals throughout the conversation comes a roar of laughter as someone recites a pun or some embarrassing moment. This roar is “adultish laughter.” Few survive its effects when present in the room with these adults; the few that do survive grow up prematurely, have a keen fondness for horrible puns, and generally miss out on their childhood. The only way to ensure immunity from its ill effects is to get as far away as possible within the house – that means moving to the basement or upstairs, whichever is further away. If there is anyone in the house within the general range of your age, you must get them to come along with you and do something fun – in other words, non-adultish. It doesn’t matter what, but my favourite pastime during these moments is to stick kleenex up my nose and in my ears, getting, of course, the other person to do the same. I did it once with my old-time friend named Kyle, and it worked like a charm. We even went upstairs amidst the adultish throngs with the kleenex in full view, to try and break up the adultish behaviour. It seemed to actually have a good effect. (Boy, I wish I was lying when I told that story.)

Anyways, to continue on my recollection of last night, I got a phone call from Steph, who was at Dave and Natalie’s house. She asked if I wanted to come over. I contemplated it for a moment, since I had been out a lot lately and didn’t exactly want to ask my parents for the car – especially when they were deep in adultish rituals. But I eventually found my dad separated from the rest of the group, so I asked him, and he said it was fine. I headed over there, and as soon as I walked in, Melissa and Dave walked in from outside, drenched. They had been having a water fight, and I was glad I hadn’t been caught in the crossfire. So I headed downstairs, where others were watching Enemy at the Gates. It didn’t seem like too bad of a movie, so I watched most of it. However, they introduced some romance into it, and it started to get boring very quickly as suddenly the attention was on the girl instead of trying to escape from German snipers, so I headed upstairs to see what most of the girls were doing. They were playing a game of Cheat – one of my favourite card games – so I watched as they brutally murdered the game by instituting their own rules into it. Afterwards, we sat around talking and doing card tricks, and I’ll just summarize that by saying it was fun. I went home at about 10:45 PM because, well, I’ve been out a lot lately and didn’t want my parents getting mad or anything. That was pretty much the entire night, although it was more interesting than I just described it as.

I must say that, being my 292nd entry, it was quite a fine entry. I would rate this entry as a success, because it adequately described, I believe, adultish laughter. That in itself is a feat, since to conduct my research on the subject, it required dangerous missions deep into the heart of adultish ceremonies and rituals. I barely survived with my life, but I live to tell the tale because of my dedication to save others from a horrible fate if they are ignorant of this behaviour. And, of course, this entry also described my night last night and my day today, just like most of them do, which is not too bad in itself. So, with glass raised, here’s to another 292. Not saying that I’ll stop after 584, of course.

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