Well, there’s not much to talk about today. That’s a good thing, considering I don’t have that much time anyways. I have to be heading off to Port Dover in about an hour. I suppose that’s enough time to write a huge blog entry, but I also have other things to do. Anyways, today I’m pretty tired, for mainly one reason: Steph. I suppose it’s not really her fault, but whatever. Let me tell you the story.
I was talking to Melissa and Steph yesterday about going to Port Dover. Everything was fine, and I figured I’d just make the final sort of arrangements today when I saw them at school. After all, most of it was already arranged by my youth group; it was mostly a matter of me knowing whether I had to pick them up or whether they were getting dropped off at the church. Anyways, everything was fine and dandy until the ride home on the bus after school, when I realized that I wasn’t going to see either of them tomorrow. They, Jon, and Bethany were helping out at CBA’s softball tournament, so they weren’t going to be at school. That’s when I started to think of emergency backup plan #1.
Well, okay, I didn’t call it that. But I had to get ahold of one of them last night so that they could figure everything out between themselves today. So I called Steph’s house. Her brother told me that she was working until 10:30 PM. Crap. So I went to plan B (or #2, or whatever you want to call it). I was quite hesitant to call Melissa’s house, because basically her mom has this sort of love-hate relationship with me that borders mostly on the hate side. It’s a long story, and has to do with her zealous protection of her children, namely the child whose name starts with an M. Anyways, instead of calling her house myself, I asked Lana over MSN if she would call for me and just tell Melissa to call me. I figured that was the safest option, considering that her mom likely wouldn’t get mad at a girl calling. Anyways, I was going to give Lana the number when I realized that Steph had told me that Melissa was going to be at volleyball at Central. Crap. So I went to plan C (#3): wait until she gets home, and hope someone else from Central who was there would come onto MSN so I’d know they were finished.
Well, eventually Kristin came on, and I was informed that she wasn’t at volleyball anyways – she was at work. Since she works at the mall, though, and since it usually closes early, I asked Kristin to call her and see if she was home. She did so, and I learned that she wasn’t going to be done until 10:00 PM. So I was confronted with a dilemma: do I call Melissa and have her mom probably get mad at me, but still be calling at a semi-decent hour, or do I wait another half hour and call Steph, whose parents wouldn’t care, but who I’d likely end up talking to for quite a while? After much deliberation, I decided that calling Stephanie was the safest bet, even if I had to wait until 11:00 PM. So I called her house again and asked them to have her call me back when she got home.
It was about 10:50 PM when she called. It was 12:02 AM when I got off the phone. I swear that this girl could talk a full-grown buffalo to death. But I suppose we were due for a nice talk, after all the “drama” that’s been going on. She was excited to talk about Josh, and I was happy to just let her go on about him, since I’m just as glad that they decided to go out. I mean, Josh definitely has good taste, and he’s an awesome guy, so Steph should be quite happy. I’m not going to take away her school-girl giddiness about the new boy in class (metaphorically speaking, of course). Anyways, after saying she had to go about three or four times, she finally got off – after saying good morning to me, since it was just after midnight by that time. I hung up and dropped into bed. That doesn’t mean I fell asleep though; it must have took me at least a solid hour to get to sleep. I think it was likely because my room was so hot last night, even though I had the window open and everything. Anyways, I slept until about 5:30 or 6:00 AM and then drifted in and out of consciousness until my alarm went off at 7:00. I distinctly remember waking up and thinking of something strange, but now I’ve completely forgotten what it was. Let’s just say it was strange and leave it at that.
So anyways, I headed off to school and had a normal day, except that it seemed about twice as long as normal. The past week has gone by so slowly, and I doubt it will get better over the next couple of weeks. I just want to get out of school. It’s been a pretty good year, and it went by pretty quickly for the most part, but now that it’s almost over, but not quite over, time has slowed to a crawl. Once you start looking forward to something like the end of school, the second hand on the clock never seems to move. I swear I looked at the clock about thirty times in every class, each spaced out about thirty seconds apart. Or that’s what it seemed like, anyway. I suppose I shouldn’t complain, though, since it still means that we’re getting out of school soon. Hooray! I can’t believe that I’m graduating this year. It still doesn’t seem true. Of course, I’m going back to high school for more courses, but this is my big graduation. This is the moment I’ve thought about ever since I stopped liking school. First it was Grade 8 graduation, and now, four years later, it’s time for another stage of my life to end. It hardly seems possible.
Anyways, that’s my rambling for today. I could go into greater detail about my conversation with Steph, or my long day, but it just doesn’t seem worth it. I mean, the day was boring, so there’s not much else to say about that, and the conversation with Steph was just too long to talk about. We’ve talked to each other for longer periods of time before, but this one was different. We could probably have kept this one up for a few more hours if Steph wasn’t dying of hunger and had to go. I’m not really sure at what point we became such great friends, but I suspect it was soon after the time I just gave up on her as being more than friends and just put my effort into developing my friendship with her instead. After that, things just seemed different. I can’t explain it too well, except to say that usually when guys like a girl, they’re pretty uptight and trying to do everything perfectly and dress to impress. That’s how it used to be for me, anyways. Every time I’d get near Steph, there was a big ball of butterflies right down in my gut. Now it’s different, though. I’ve learned a lot about myself and others, and I rarely feel uptight at all. When I’m around a girl I like now, I’m just comfortable. There’s no pressure to try and impress her, because I know that if a girl doesn’t like me for who I am, then there’s no point in trying to get her to or trying to change myself to fit into her image. It’s just not worth it, and it’s an insult to God, who created me how I am. I suppose it comes down to a sense of identity; once you’re secure in that, you don’t have the pressure to perform or impress. It’s really quite relaxing.
But anyways, this has gone on longer than I expected it to. So I’m just going to end here with a nice short paragraph. “Aww, wook at the cutie wittwe pawagwaph…”