Hitching a Ride to McDonald’s Drive-Thru

Disclaimer: This post is from the archives, and may not represent the current views of the author. It also may not be at all interesting to read. Continue at your own peril!

Here we are. It’s yet another day, and I’m sure you were all waiting impatiently for me to update. I imagine that you were likely sitting in front of the computer with my blog on the screen, clicking Refresh over and over and over, just hoping that one of the times you clicked, something new would arrive. And now it has. Prepare for the blog of a lifetime. Or something like that. Try saying that in a deep movie voice-over voice, like on the trailers for movies. It has a better effect.

I suppose since people (who will not be named) were making fun of me last night and saying that I’d have something to blog about tomorrow, I might as well just give in and do just that. Besides, I was going to anyways. Last night was crazy. I went to go see a movie with a bunch of people: Angelie, Jordan, Josh, Kristin, Lauren, Melissa, Steph, and Zeth. We went to go see Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, a movie I had been wanting to see – although I wasn’t the one to suggest it. I figured most people wouldn’t like it, so I wasn’t going to drag anyone along to see it with me. But, as it turns out, they decided to go see it. Well, Angelie, Jordan, and Lauren went to see Amityville Horror, since they’re weird that way, but whatever.

I must say that I thought the movie was great. Everyone else thought it sucked, except for the more intelligent Zeth (I say he’s intelligent because he agreed with me). It was hilarious, and although it was pointless, it was supposed to be pointless. Melissa leaned over to me a couple times during the movie and was like, “Uh, is this movie supposed to have a point?” I looked at her strangely and just said, “Nope.” I mean, I’ve read about the book and such, and it really is supposed to have no cause-and-effect relationship between events. One of the major points the author brings up is that things happen randomly, making even the best probabilities go haywire. It’s what the book is about, to the best of my knowledge. So I came into the movie expecting that, and got just that. I guess the other people didn’t understand that, but whatever. Zeth and I understood the movie on a “deeper level.” That’s because we’re cool. Anyways, there were some really funny parts, including a depressed robot with a massive head, a cool explosion effect when the world blows up, and mice that actually performed experiments on people on earth – even though we thought we were doing the experiments on them. I didn’t really like the President of the universe or whatever he was called, because he was obnoxious and had two heads, one of which popped up every once in a while for no particular reason. It was really annoying, and I was hoping he was going to die. But I suppose it’s a comedy, and so they wouldn’t do that.

Anyways, after the movie, we stood around in the Brantford Mall talking about it for about ten minutes like the cool people we are, and then decided to go to McDonald’s. Josh and Zeth went off in Josh’s car, Jordan walked home, Lauren got a ride home, and all the remaining four girls came in my car. Kristin had to get something at her house since they were all sleeping over at Angelie’s for the night or something, so I had to stop off there first, and then we went over to McDonald’s. Since it was about 12:00 at this time, the dining room wasn’t open, but the drive-thru was. But, since I didn’t feel like ordering for all four ravenously hungry girls, I told them to go walk through the drive-thru instead. By this time, Josh and Zeth had already gone through and gotten their food, so I hung out with them while Melissa, Steph, and Kristin went through and attempted to get food. The manager was apparently very obnoxious and wouldn’t let them get food since they didn’t have a car. It was really stupid, if you ask me. I mean, they’re customers, and they’re paying for their food. Just because they don’t have a car, how does that make them different? But anyways, eventually they got food, and Melissa ordered the McDeal. But since it was soon after midnight, she got Friday’s McDeal instead of Saturday’s.

Being the stupid person she is, she doesn’t like Fillet-o-Fish (although neither do I). So they came back to where the cars were and were complaining to us that they got Friday’s McDeal instead of Saturday’s, even though it was after midnight, blah blah blah. They also gave me a dollar that they found on the ground outside the drive-thru. We hung around for a little while, and then decided to head on home and such, but the girls kept whining about this stupid fish-burger crap that nobody wanted. So we drove through the drive-thru again, and ordered another thing for Steph since she hadn’t gained her usual 25 pounds for the day (what she ordered put her just nicely over the 400-pound mark).

When we got up to the window, I handed them my money and also asked them to exchange the Fillet-o-Fish for the Double Cheeseburger McDeal. The girl at the window at first said I couldn’t, but I told them that we had ordered it after midnight, and therefore had been given the wrong McDeal. The obnoxious manager came over and, although trying not to show that he recognized the annoying girls that had walked through, asked for the receipt. Melissa fished it out (no pun intended) of the bag and I handed it to him – unfortunately for him, he had given them the receipt that clearly listed the time on it. He got this annoyed look on his face and started to void out the transaction or whatever he had to do, and the girl went and got a Double Cheeseburger for us. Apparently Kristin was laughing her head off the entire time in the back of the car, but I had blocked everyone out of my mind so I could keep a straight face. It was great. Just to spite them, after we had gotten our food, I said, “Have a nice night.” The girl just kind of half-heartedly said, “You too,” as she turned to walk away and we drove away. It was great. I felt in complete charge. After all, I’m their customer, and if they want my money, they must do what I say. I’m always right, of course, because I’m the customer. Man, I love doing that. Ever since I’ve been unemployed, I’ve enjoyed getting back at those people that did the same thing to me – even if they have slightly different names and faces and have never been to Quizno’s before. Whatever. They’re close enough.

Anyways, I drove everyone to Angelie’s house, and Kristin tried to give me money for being such a great guy. I gave her my autograph and left it at that, not taking the money. Well, okay, I didn’t actually give her my autograph, but I figured if I were to get in trouble from my parents, it would be worth it, and I didn’t need money to make up for that. I sort of forgot to turn at the road I was supposed to, so we took the long way to Angelie’s house, but whatever. I dropped them off, and went home. I think I got home at about 12:30 AM or so, getting home to my dad sitting in front of the television – even though I had told my parents that I was going to be home late and there was no point in them waiting up for me. I’m really not sure why, but they always do that. It’s really annoying, because then I feel bad for getting home late and making them wait up. But this time, it wasn’t my fault, because I had warned them in advance. Anyways, I didn’t get in trouble at all, which was good, probably because I had specifically mentioned that I was going to be late, so that was good.

All in all, it was a great night, and I wouldn’t change anything about it except possibly some of the whininess of the girls in my car. But I suppose you can’t really change that, because all females get whiny at times. The best thing is to just mentally prepare yourself for the slaughter and keep a firm stance – they’re like little children; you have to firmly and strongly say, “No.” Otherwise they go insane and start asking you to do everything for them. Phh, screw that. I’m nobody’s whipping-boy. I do nice things because I want to do them, not because people whine at me to get me to do them. I’ve learned that valuable lesson, and feel much better off knowing it. I call it the “Girls Are Stupid And Will Go Nuts Asking You For Stuff While Giving Nothing In Return If You Let Them, So Don’t” rule. Well, I actually just made that up right now, if you couldn’t tell, but whatever. It works. I’m happy to be known as a nice guy, just as long as people don’t think I’m so nice that I’ll do anything for them. That’s just setting me up for people to take advantage of my niceness, and I’ve had that happen one too many times. So, if you’re a girl and you’re reading this, please know that your whining will get you nowhere. Repent of your evil whiny ways. And give me money for no particular reason (although I likely won’t accept it unless I particularly hate you).

So that was my night. I could go into much greater detail, like the geometry lesson Zeth, Josh, and I went through with the rocks on the other side of the curb in the parking lot of McDonald’s, but I won’t say anything about that except that they have nothing better to do except talk about trapezoids and parallelograms. It’s sad, really. But anyways, I’m going to have to wrap up my present for my mom now. I got her a small portable radio that she wanted for her desk at work – you have to realize that my mom is entirely practical (she asks for oven mitts and baking sheets at Christmas-time: BORING), and this is exactly what she wants. I also printed off a nice-looking flowery card with the card-making software we have on our computer and put a nice sappy message inside, because mothers love that sort of thing for some strange reason. But I suppose she’s worth it, being my favourite mother and all. Yeah, she’s definitely a keeper. I should end this off now, though, since I’ve likely lost all my readers to Attention Deficit Disorder anyway. Have a nice life.

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