Eating Weeds

Disclaimer: This post is from the archives, and may not represent the current views of the author. It also may not be at all interesting to read. Continue at your own peril!

Well, it’s been a long hard day at the ranch. I woke up at around 9:30 AM or so, and then came down to the computer for a while after taking my shower. Then my dad came downstairs and told me that he was going to teach me how to use the weed-eater today. I can’t say that I was overly enthusiastic about that idea. However, out I went, since I figure I might as well learn – I’ll have to use it sooner or later.

Now, after about two hours of eating weeds (well, maybe weed-eating is a better term), I’m pooped. My arms feel like mush. It’s not all that heavy of a machine, but it’s sure awkward. I can’t say that I’ll ever become a professional gardener; I’d probably die. It wouldn’t be so bad if you could just hold it normally, but you have to constantly keep it slightly tilted, meaning you have to hold it at a strange angle. Anyways, I don’t think I did too bad a job at it once I got the hang of it. I took a few chunks out of the lawn, unfortunately, but my dad just shook his head, and that was that. I should have just jammed it down into the ground, just to see what he’d do or how badly he would mutilate me because of a nicely cut circle in the middle of his lawn. It would definitely be funny until he took the weed-eater to me.

Anyways, after finishing up trimming around just about everything possible to trim around with a weed-eater – walls, fences, trees, sign-posts, curbs, sidewalks, driveways – we came in for lunch. I could barely pick up my pizza or my drink, because my arms were shaking. Soon they returned to normal, though. No pain, no gain, I suppose, and a merry hakuna matata to you too. I suppose the part of weed-eating that freaked me out the most was the tendency of my allergies to decide to act up and cause me to sneeze right when I already had the weed-eater dangerously low to the ground. I usually get advanced warning with my sneezes, but not always. Luckily, they weren’t too bad since I took some allergy medication before I went outside. Otherwise, there’d be more than just a few chunks out of the lawn. We might not have a lawn left – it’d look more like a war zone.

I suppose I should add in something here to address the comment I received about being “sexist” and such, due to my comments about females recently. I apologize for the misunderstanding, and I realize how my comments about the issue could have been seen that way. I assure you that what I said about women was in no way sexist – it’s more an issue of the differences between the way men and women think. I find women frustrating because I don’t understand the way they think; I’ve learned a lot about them, but they still tend to knock me flat on my back in surprise sometimes. I really don’t know whether females understand men or not, considering that I’ve never been a female to know. My comments about females being annoying and frustrating should be taken as sarcasm at most. I tend to exaggerate quite frequently, and although I find females frustrating at times, I know how horribly bland the world would be without them. I wouldn’t ever want to get rid of them, and though I may sometimes think that perhaps things would be easier if they thought the way I did, things wouldn’t be a challenge anymore. It’d be too boring, and though differences can cause conflict at times, it definitely keeps things interesting.

So, with that said, I’m sorry for the way my comments were interpreted. It’s been on my mind a lot, and so, as I tend to write about whatever’s on my mind, it’s come out in several of my more recent blog entries. There’s also a very good reason why it’s been on my mind a lot, and it’s far from sexist. Probably the simplest word to describe this reason would be: attraction. I think that sums everything up, and I don’t want to get into the subject any deeper until I figure some things out with a certain girl. Women are certainly frustrating, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. And I certainly don’t blame them for all my problems – no sir, that blame goes squarely on the shoulders of my inability to understand them. And that’s where it’s going to stay. So, in the future, if I mention that women are frustrating, annoying, or anything else, take it as a guy that’s struggling to figure something out. Have you ever gotten frustrated because there was a math question or something that you just couldn’t get the right answer for? Multiply that feeling by ten (or divide by 1/10, take your pick), and you get the feelings I go through every time females confuse me. However, that frustration is my feeling, not any aspect of them – so please understand that.

Anyways, that’s about all I wanted to say. I’ll probably work on some homework today so I can get it done as soon as possible and keep Monday open – there’s a reason for that too, but it deals with females, or at least one in particular. Let’s just say, I’m keeping my options open as much as possible. Other than that, I’ll probably just relax the rest of the day and soak up the long weekend sun. Three cheers for holidays!

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