Thoughts, Splayed Out for All to See

Disclaimer: This post is from the archives, and may not represent the current views of the author. It also may not be at all interesting to read. Continue at your own peril!

Bear with me today. I have a whole bunch of random thoughts in my head that I need to write down here. Wait, that’s no different from any other day. But oh well.

First thing up: my pastor used to be a funeral director for a while before he came to our church. With the recent death of a person in my church, the topic of the funeral came up. And of course, the slightly morbid joke came into my head: “Funeral directors are in such high demand. Everyone’s just dying to meet them.” Groan, throw things at me, and then move on. You knew it was coming.

On a completely different topic, I’ve been trying to think of something to write about for my story. I talked about it a while ago somewhere in my mass of blog entries. As of now, I haven’t updated my last story since sometime in November. I just don’t feel any desire to finish it, since it is based on a part of my life that is completely dead to me now. But I do want to start another story. I just have no ideas. It’s kind of strange, actually. I can sit here and write for twenty minutes to half an hour (an hour on a good day) every day, and yet I can’t even get a starting idea for a story. For a long time now, I’ve wanted to write some sort of science fiction story. Of course, the danger there is that it’ll be too unrealistic and just be horrible. On the other hand, I’m good at writing realistic stories – I just have no desire to write one, nor any ideas on what to write about. So that sort of limits my options. I could always go and write a kids’ book, but hey – anyone can write a frickin’ kids’ book. Anyways, anyone who reads this, please just throw out some ideas to me, and that will at least give me more progress than I’m at right now.

Sort of on a related topic, I really want to read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, a crazy science fiction story that apparently makes no sense. I’ve heard a lot about it, and I really want to read it, but I can’t find it anywhere. I was looking on my local library’s website today, and both of the copies they own are out on loan. I suppose I could just wait to see the movie, but I know that movies aren’t as good as the books that inspired them, and I know I’m going to want to read the book even more after I see the movie anyways. So I’m pretty stuck there. I’m not sure I want to spend money on it, but I think I’m going to have to if it comes down to that. I must read it before I go insane. Well, more insane than I already am.

I had something else to say here, but I’ve done gone and forgottened it (read that in a Southern hick accent for full effect). I think it was something to do with music. My music is starting to get boring; I really need some other new bands to listen to. I found a couple new ones recently, but they’re not quite the style I like. They’ll do for now, though, I suppose. I really don’t think I’m cut out for all this being alone stuff. I really need someone to obsess over. It at least gives me something to do rather than sit here and be bored. I suppose that’s why I half-decided to ask someone to go to a movie with me on Friday. I don’t mean like asking them out or anything, although if they take it that way, then whatever. That’s fine, I suppose. But I just need someone to hang out with, and since I always seem to hang out with everyone in groups, it gets boring after a while. I mean, groups of friends are great, but sometimes they just don’t encourage deep conversations. I want to hang out with someone in the hopes that I can get to know them better. If that leads to going out with them, so be it, but I just want to know them. Anyways, I’ve got one person in mind, plus a couple backups in case they’re busy – I don’t want to put this off longer than I have to. Better sooner than later, as my momma always said. Okay, that was a lie – she never says that, but still. You get the point.

That’s about all I have to say. School starts tomorrow. I must admit that I’m starting to like school. Not the school part exactly, but the part about seeing my friends and all. My home is so…formal. I really don’t have a good relationship with my parents. I know they love me, and I love them, but that’s about it. We don’t really communicate too well most of the time. Usually when we start talking about something, we start arguing, so I’ve tried to avoid that. Unfortunately that means either hanging out in the basement or up in my room. That’s the main reason I spend so much time on the computer; it gives me a chance to get out of my parents’ way. Whenever I get in their way, they get mad, so I just avoid them. I’m not sure why that happens. I mean, I know they’re not mad at me, they’re just frustrated, but still – why are they taking it out on me? They’ve done it to me for years. I’m not a person that gets easily stressed out over stuff, but they certainly are. Then after they get frustrated at work or whatever, they see me not caring and not worrying, and they just get more angry because I’m so calm when they aren’t. They run around trying to get everything done, and I just take my time and don’t worry about it.

I’m not sure where that all came from, but it was up in my head. Whatever. Now it’s spilled out onto the Internet for all to see. I’m done here. Nothing to see here, folks, move along.

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