Swimming Lessons….Or Drowning Lessons

Disclaimer: This post is from the archives, and may not represent the current views of the author. It also may not be at all interesting to read. Continue at your own peril!

I don’t really know what to write about. Swimming is coming up tomorrow, something which I am not looking forward to. I’ve never liked swimming, and I never learned how to swim. Two years ago, we had to do swimming in Phys. Ed. It was torture, really. I finally basically learned how to swim, but I never learned how to float. Honestly, I can swim just fine with a pool noodle or something, but without that, I just sink to the bottom. Everyone was telling me, “Just hold your breath and you’ll float,” so I tried that – and sunk. I really don’t know why I can’t float, but I can’t. I’ve tried everything I can think of to keep me afloat, and the only way is through artificial means, with a life jacket or pool noodle. It’s stupid.

So here I am, two years later, facing the prospect of being the laughing-stock of my school for yet another year. Like, it’s not like everyone hates me or anything like that, but I don’t enjoy looking like a fool, and that’s exactly what I look like when the school swims and I drown. I don’t like not being able to do something, and the problem is that not even the instructors could help me. It was stupid. You’d think that they’d have had some other person other than me before who couldn’t float, but I guess not. It’s really annoying when the swimming instructor is standing over you trying to tell you to kick your legs harder and you (with a mouthful of water) are trying to tell him that it’s because you can’t stay afloat. Maybe my legs are too heavy or something. I don’t know. All I know is that I’m going to be going through a few weeks of torture for the next little while.

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