Questions

Disclaimer: This post is from the archives, and may not represent the current views of the author. It also may not be at all interesting to read. Continue at your own peril!

I’m really bored right now after waking up early for no apparent reason, so I’m just going to write down some questions that pop into my head. They’re in no particular order, some are relevant to the stuff I’m dealing with right now, and some aren’t. Your job is to figure out which are which…or not. Whatever. Abandon all hope ye who read on.

How come I can never get a good night’s sleep?
Why is it that everything has to be planned in advance or else it’ll fall apart?
How come even things that are planned in advance fall apart?
How come people can’t just do what they say they’re going to do?
How come I don’t always do what I say I’m going to do?
Why are Garfield cartoons rarely funny?
How come some people can never just be happy for you?
How come my words always get twisted around?
Why does my confidence always come across as arrogance, when it’s really a struggle for me to find anything good to say about myself?
How come sometimes the people that seem to have it all together are the ones that really need the most help?
How come sliced bread is held up as such a great invention when I could have thought it up myself?
What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
Why do I always hesitate to hang out with people when I know I’m going to be bored if I don’t anyways?
How come some girls flirt so much and then wonder why all these guys think she likes them?
Why does time seem to go so slow sometimes?
How come some people just don’t want to deal with the stuff that really matters?
How do you reverse apathy if you just don’t care to change it?
How do you stop procrastinating if you just keep putting it off?
Why do all these questions keep running through my head?

Maybe I’ll post something else later today. Maybe not. Stay tuned.

2 responses to “Questions”

Anonymous

FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER! DON’T YOU DARE DO THAT! DON’T YOU DARE BRING GARFIELD INTO THIS! HE’S OBESE AND IF YOU GET OFF ON MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES THAN YOU’RE SICK, MOTHERFUCKER!

DID YOU KNOW THAT JON ARBUCKLE HAS SEXUALLY ABUSED GARFIELD EVERY DAY OF HIS LIFE? DID YOU KNOW THAT GARFIELD’S GOT AN EATING DISORDER, HUH? YOU’RE NOT SUCH A BIG MAN NOW, ARE YOU!?!?

GARFIELD IS HILARIOUS AND YOU KNOW IT, YOU BASTARD. DON’T YOU EVER LET ME CATCH YOU BAD-MOUTHING THAT FAT FELINE EVER AGAIN OR THERE’LL BE HELL TO PAY!

I HEART YOU, GARFIELD! OUR LOVE WILL LIVE AS LONG AS YOU DO, AND THAT INCLUDES SYNDICATION AFTER THE DEATH OF JIM DAVIS.

Jeff

Actually, considering the comic usually makes fun of Garfield’s obesity and eating disorder, the fact that I don’t find it funny just destroys your whole argument…so really, you could have just not posted this comment and saved yourself the hassle of typing in all caps. Just thought I’d point that out 🙂

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