Nothing happened at all today. Well, okay, lots happened and it was a pretty cool day. I got my name drawn in our little lunchtime prayer group and got prayed for, which was kind of strange, but whatever. I’m glad that we have that group, because it’s not only sharpened my prayer life, but has also helped me grow closer to the people there. It’s also made me more aware of some of the needs that we have in the school, and while I don’t have the greatest memory, I try to pray for them whenever I think of them. And really, I do it right when I think of it so I don’t forget it. Some people prefer to write down requests for later; I would rather just take a few minutes to pray for something that pops into my mind. Not only is it relaxing to pray, since it’s easy to let my life get too busy sometimes, but it also keeps me on my toes, so to speak, and sensitive to what the Holy Spirit brings up. While I’m not sure exactly how biblical this concept is, I’m sure that the Holy Spirit can direct our thought processes to remind us of certain things. I mean, here I am with a horrible memory, and I haven’t missed reading my Bible for one day in about two months now. That’s almost unheard of for me.
But anyways, I’m not sure where that line of thought came from. I suppose it ties in with what I was thinking of writing today. The first thing is that a song popped into my head a few minutes ago that I really like the lyrics to, although I’m not that fond of the song itself and haven’t listened to the CD it’s on in months. It’s by Audio Adrenaline, from one of their older CDs called “Some Kind of Zombie.” The actual song is called Original Species, and I’ll paste in the lyrics here:
Now my heart and mind agree
A Supernatural selected me
I see a plan so grandiose
My very own Galapagos
God laid down and He began to trace
An image that He could embrace
Then He smiled down on His plan
And from the dust He made a man
I’m an original species
More enlightened than Nietzsche
I’m sure you’d like to meet me
I am loved
By the Maker who’s so clever
I was made to live forever
Though my body turns to sand
My soul is in His hands
A breakthrough theory of origin
A simple truth that’s always been
Fingerprints have been left behind
That point us to a Mastermind
Stars in the sky
There to please my eye
The cosmos in His command
But He has time to hold my hand
I’m really not sure how that got into my head. But it did. And it’s an awesome song when you really think about it. Here’s the Creator of the universe, and he took the time to sculpt each and every person individually, putting thought and effort to make each one special, someone that He loves more than anything else He created, even though some things in creation look so much more impressive and are so much more majestic and grand. It’s such an awesome thought to think about it.
The second thing I’d like to share is a poem I wrote this morning before school started. Sometimes lines just pop into my head, and then thoughts just start flowing and I just have to write them down. Anyways, I’m not quite sure on a title yet; I put down Memories of a Broken Heart as a working title, but I’m not sure I like that. But here goes:
I sacrifice these thoughts of you
To the One who cleanses all,
And who heals all wounds.
It is my offering.
No more will I be haunted
By these faded memories,
Exaggerated over time,
I will be renewed.
Heal my heart and mind, oh God.
I want to know You more and better.
I want to find You.
You are more than memories.
You are more than the past,
Greater than the present;
You hold the future in Your hands.
Teach me to be like You.
I am Your willing student.
I give these memories
In exchange for more of You.
I think that poem speaks for itself. Sometimes I get down on myself over my past failures, but I want to – and God wants me to – give those memories to Him so they don’t get in the way of what He has in store for me. I truly believe that if I search for Him with all my heart that He has great plans for me. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me.'” (Jeremiah 29:11-13, NLT) He’s promised that if we look for Him in earnest, that we’ll find Him. He’s the one longing to be found. He wants us to find Him, and He’s waiting for us to want the same thing. And I definitely want it. I want it bad.