This has been a strange day. I feel sometimes as if I’m forcing myself to be sad about my grandmother’s death. After all, I haven’t seen her in a few years, and only sometimes is the topic brought up. It’s a strange feeling, because I know I’m supposed to be sad, but really the sadness already passed a long time ago, seeing her in a state of confusion. Everyone knew that this point was coming, and I really haven’t seen a lot of tears shed. It’s mostly been a lot of planning for the funeral and such – of course, the Hughes family is like that already, planning out everything, but I’m talking about it being abnormally so. Everyone seems to be resigned to the facts and, while sad, more concerned with handling this last stage of my grandma’s life.
They’ve really been handling her life for a while now. At first, my aunts were working to get all the legal stuff set up to become my grandma’s powers of attorney and handle her estate and such. Once they got her into the nursing home (after she fell and was hospitalized – a blessing really, because it made transitioning her into the nursing home so much easier), they sold off the house and divided most of the stuff that was inside between the four children, leaving some for their mother for in her room, of course. It’s always been a methodical process since. I mean, they’ve visited her and such, but all they’ve talked about since has either been her worsening condition to discuss whether it was time to move her into long-term care and such. They moved from having to care for her by looking after her, which was taken care of by the nursing home, to caring for her by making the best decisions for her. So most of the sadness and grief has been dissipated over that time. Everyone’s still sad – you can see it – but it’s been cushioned by this last stage of her life.
My Uncle Bob is flying in from Victoria sometime tomorrow or Thursday at the very latest, and he’s taking over my room for a week. I get the basement down here. That’s not so bad. Maybe I’ll actually get some sleep down here on the couch. The visitation is on Thursday and the funeral is on Friday. I was working Thursday, but I just phoned and got that off work. I was also asked to be one of the pallbearers for the funeral – I don’t even have a suit. We’re going to have to work out something for that. But hopefully this will put a lot of my family at ease, because from now on, it’s over – no more worrying, no more time spent into legal and financial matters concerning her money and putting it to use for paying for the nursing home expenses. She’s finally in a better place, and the only thing left to do now is to tie up the loose ends and live on our lives until we finally go and meet her there.