Fairly Fighting

Disclaimer: This post is from the archives, and may not represent the current views of the author. It also may not be at all interesting to read. Continue at your own peril!

I know I seem to say this every day, but today was pretty normal. I mean, if the majority of days weren’t normal, then they would actually be considered normal, because they would be the majority. Got that? It’s like calling people “normal,” except everyone is different, so really everyone’s normal. Actually, no one’s normal, technically speaking. In order for someone to be normal, there would have to be at least one other person that was exactly like them in all respects. Since that isn’t even true of identical twins, nobody’s normal. Therefore not being normal is normal. Yay! I love paradoxes. Or is it paradice? No wait – that would be too easily confused with paradise, which is not a bunch of paradoxes. Or is it?

Okay, I’m confusing myself, so I’m going to move right along into Jeff’s Patented Run-Down of the Day (TM). Actually, scratch that. It’s too boring. I swear I have ADD today; I’ve been jumping from topic to topic all day. Actually, I do that a lot, but today it’s just really bad. So anyways, I’m going to skip my run-down and go into something stupid like I usually do.

My goal for this school year (that I just decided) is to pick a fight with someone at my school. Preferably a girl. I mean, I won’t actually hit her, I just want to start a fight with her so I can have a laugh or two. Remember kids, fights are fun, and all the cool kids are doing it, so you’d better do it too. But I mean, Stephanie especially is quite argumentative. I mean, Bethany Stewart is as well, but she’d never try to fight anyone. She knows she’d lose. Stephanie, on the other hand, isn’t that smart, and doesn’t realize that I could knock her out quite easily. So she would be a possible target. The other one could be Lana, except she has a tendency to kick. Actually, now that I think about it, all girls seem to have a tendency to kick. Guys at least have rules about fair fighting, rules that are only broken when the other person decides to break them – like if someone jumps you from behind, you have the right to use any method to defend yourself. But if two guys start a fight on equal ground, then kicks and cheap shots like that are just out. You just don’t do that stuff. Fists are the only way to go, as well as maybe some holds if you’re into that sort of stuff – I prefer not to hug other guys, but whatever floats your boat, I suppose.

Anyways, girls don’t seem to have those built-in instincts. They seem to have no concept of a “fair fight.” I mean, when you see a cat-fight, they’re like tearing each other’s hair out and kicking and screaming at each other. It’s crazy. And then they try that on guys. Not only do they have the upper hand, as most guys’ mothers bring them up by scolding them not to hit girls, but they also don’t have this idea in their heads of fighting fairly by not kicking. It’s pretty stupid, if you ask me.

*time lapse* Okay, this is actually the next day here. What happened was that I tried posting this yesterday, but it didn’t go through, and so when I went back, the above was all that was saved. So I didn’t feel like writing out anything else the next day, when I’ve completely lost my thought. I was going to finish it off, but whatever. Insert the next few logical thoughts, a witty comment or two, and then a sign-off.

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