Quizno’s Fun

Disclaimer: This post is from the archives, and may not represent the current views of the author. It also may not be at all interesting to read. Continue at your own peril!

I love opening on Sundays. It’s usually so slow, with hardly any customers, so there’s lots of time to get what you need to do done, and then have lots of time left over to let your imagination fly around crazily all over the store. It’s usually not possible to do that any other day at work.

So today it was just Kyle and me opening the store up. We did everything we had to do and then had lots of time to do nothing. Kyle’s kind of eccentric, so he gets side-tracked every once in a while. We started looking around the store and finding all these strange things that we never knew about. For example, there’s stuff everywhere at the backs of shelves and on top of the fridges that you never see until you go looking. We found a bunch of cool signs and stuff on top of the fridge, and we looked on top of the freezer – unfortunately, there wasn’t really much up there that was interesting, unless you count dust as being interesting.

After our search around the store was over, we took a styrofoam cup and created a “Christmas tips cup” for people to put their spare change in, etc. Kyle made sure to decorate it all nicely in marker with a Christmas tree and presents, etc., and put words like “love,” “giving,” “sharing,” and “kindness” to get people in the giving spirit – giving into our pockets, that is. I think in about two or three hours and with only about 10 customers we made about $2.50. Split two ways, that works out to quite a nice $1.25 each – quite good for how many people actually came in. I finally found out what great satisfaction merchandisers have when they have the chance to make money off the generosity of others. It’s such a great feeling, making money off a holiday season.

After all that, Kyle started getting kind of crazy – well, more crazy anyways. We were talking about broken arms, because one of the other people at work, Rori, has a broken arm. All of a sudden, Kyle pulls his arm back through his sleeve and asks me if we have elastics or string or something. I went to the back drawer and got an elastic, which I then tightened his sleeve with. It was pretty sweet, you could barely tell that he still had an arm, and it’d be pretty funny to see someone make a sub with arm. Crazy amputees must get discriminated against so badly at food places – actually more than just food places. Mind you, they likely get money from the government and organizations like the War Amps, so it’s probably not too much of an issue anyways, but still.

So then Kyle got the crazy idea that being a one-armed sub maker wasn’t enough. He started looking for some way to become a hunchback too. He grabbed a giant metal bowl that we have at work and shoved it up the back of his shirt (he had two shirts on and we washed it afterwards, so don’t worry). Unfortunately, he looked more like a turtle than anything. He then took it out and shoved it up the front of his shirt so he looked either pregnant or horribly obese. It was hilarious. He started talking about how all the subs at Quizno’s were low-fat – and he should know.

What a crazy day. What a crazy guy. He’s definitely got something loose in his brain; then again, he’s a druggie, so it’s pretty much expected. Oh well. It makes the long Sundays at Quizno’s bearable. That place is both my favourite place and the place I hate the most. I hate working and I can’t stand Paul, but the people there are so great – all of them are awesome. So I suppose I fit right in, being so incredibly amazing myself. Tomorrow I’m going to bring in fudge as a Christmas present. I figure since my mom makes so much freakin’ fudge for the Christmas season, I’d ask her for a plate for work. I’ll just put it in the fridge and write a note saying “Go ahead and take fudge, just leave some for the rest of the people here. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good close.” Wow, that’s cheesy. Oh well, it’s the thought that counts, right? Man, I love Christmas…

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