Rolling in the Dough

Disclaimer: This post is from the archives, and may not represent the current views of the author. It also may not be at all interesting to read. Continue at your own peril!

I like numbers. I don’t really know why, but I always have had a specialty in dealing with numbers. I guess it just comes naturally to me, I don’t know. But anyways, since money is dealt with in numbers, I also like dealing with money. So yesterday and today (off and on, not the whole day of course) I’ve been figuring out how much money I have, how much I’ve spent, and on what. I’ve got some figures that I just feel like sharing, so I will. First off, I work at Quizno’s which pays once every two weeks (I will refer to it as bi-weekly, even though that means twice a week, but it’s much easier to say). I’ve been working there for just over three months now, so that gives a good rough guide to base my numbers on. Actually, if you want to get technical, my first and my latest paychecks were three months and six days apart, but it’s close enough. Oh yeah, and that adds up to eight paychecks once every two weeks, with the latest being October 29th. I actually just got one today but I didn’t include that since that would just screw everything up. ANYWAYS.

So here we go. In three months I’ve made $1332.63 net – that’s with deductions already removed. I’ve worked 186.75 hours, so that works out to an average of $166.58 and 23.34h bi-weekly, or $444.21 and 62.25h monthly. Not bad I suppose; it’s not what a brain surgeon makes, but it’s better than nothing. I’ve been there for two years with no income other than birthday money and whatever I could borrow from people – it sucks. Little income is better than none.

Over the past three months, I’ve kept all my receipts using my debit card, just because I like to keep track of where my money’s going – otherwise I have a tendency to lose track of it and it gets out of hand. I also recorded all the withdrawals I made from the bank and included those in; most of those are just after I deposited a paycheck. I’d take $20 or $40 out just to have some cash on hand. That money’s pretty much as good as gone, so I include it in my spending. But anyways, over the past three months, I’ve spent a total of $317.84. Not bad I suppose. That’s only 23.9% of my total payment. But I decided that wasn’t good enough. I decided to break my spendings down into a few categories as well. First off is the Girlfriend Expense, named that rightly so by the fact that girls cost money. I mean, they’re great to have around and I don’t mind shelling out some money to keep them happy and have a fun time when with them, but they cost money. 22.9% of my total spending can be attributed to my (ex-)girlfriend. Then again, her birthday also falls in August, so it came within these three months, so that raised the expenses up a little bit. The other part of that came into two categories: food and movies. Minus the food, the number drops from $72.61 to $22.62 – a measly 7.1% of my total spending. And there was only one movie in there paid with debit.

In total, my total Movies Expense only accounted for 8% of my spending. That’s really not bad; however, this number would be higher if it accounted for movies paid for with cash as well. That falls under the General Expense which I’ll get to later. But anyways, the next expense was the Food Expense. This only included food for myself, and the number came up to 7.1%. However, if you include all the food, with the food for my girlfriend included, that number jumps to 20.5%. Huge jump, eh? Well, it can be explained, because almost every day during the summer we went to the mall, and it was usually around lunch time, and we were usually hungry. So don’t think my girlfriend was a pig or anything. Well, I suppose you can draw your own conclusions considering her food accounts for 15.7%, and that was only during one month of the three. But I’m not going any further down that alley, because that could possibly be dangerous.

The rest of my spending falls under General Expense, which includes all withdrawals from the bank (which was used for various things – food, movies, and a few other purchases, such as candy for my girlfriend), and a few purchases made using my debit card that weren’t significant enough to separate out. The General Expense accounts for the remaining 62%, and I wish I could separate it further, but I don’t usually keep receipts paid for with cash unless it’s quite significant.

So let’s see here: my average bi-weekly spending was $39.73, which accounts to about 5.68h worked. Monthly, my average spending was $105.95 or about 15.14h. This means that, in total, approximately 23.9% was spent, while the remaining 76.1% was put into my bank account. I’m quite pleased with that. I’ve only spent about a quarter of my paychecks, saving up three quarters. And although having a girlfriend this summer cost me probably about a full paycheck (I’d say it was probably about $100 in total), I’ve definitely made it up by saving up afterwards. It’s kind of funny that there’s 20 uses of my debit card between July 26 and September 6, and only one afterwards. That means I’ve only used my debit card once since my girlfriend and I broke up! And that was to take money out of the bank – it wasn’t really even a purchase, although I guess you could say it was indirectly. But I laughed out loud when I noticed that. I suppose the moral of the story here is that girls cost money. That’s not to say that every guy wouldn’t have done the exact same thing were they in my place. Besides, my girlfriend was hot.

Anyways, I’m well on my way to being rich, and I soon hope to rival Bill Gates and be able to fill bathtubs full of $100 bills. That will be the day that I send a fresh, crisp $5 bill to my ex-girlfriend just as a token of my appreciation for time spent together. I already know I’ve paid up for that, plus some, but I guess when I become a billionaire, some little acknowledgements won’t matter too much.

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