Memories

Disclaimer: This post is from the archives, and may not represent the current views of the author. It also may not be at all interesting to read. Continue at your own peril!

Why do memories exist? Sometimes I wish I could clear out certain parts of my memory; forget about certain things in the past. I understand that would have downsides, but it would save on a lot of heartache and sadness.

I was thinking back today to some of my happy memories. I met two awesome people earlier this year, around January. At first I kind of only talked to one. We had such great talks, some serious, some crazy, some just wierd. But then she quit talking to me. She was such a great person, but then she just turned her back – I understand why she did too. It was my fault. Why must memories be bittersweet? I remember back to all the great times, and yet they’re over. They’ll never come back. I can never relive them except by replaying them in my mind. And then when the tape in my mind finishes playing those good memories, the bad ones at the end play next.

After that, I talked to the other awesome person more. I got to know her, got close to her, and even went out with her for a month. During the summer we hung out almost every day together because we lived so close; although we were going out for a month, it was unofficially two months of pure happiness. I felt complete. I wanted summer to go on forever. And then it all ended. She decided that since we would barely see each other during the school year since we went to different schools, that we should break up. And now, the good memories spent with her are also tarnished with bad endings.

Why? Why can’t we have the good without the bad? Why must life be so hard? And why can’t I just forget about the whole thing and just move on completely? But, I must move on as best I can. I have to learn from my mistakes and keep going. I have to learn where I’m going and why I’m going there. I just wish sometimes that it was easier than this. I wish I could replay this past year and fix my mistakes.

5 responses to “Memories”

Anonymous

Jeff, I know how you feel!!! (I’m a fellow Christian by the way…:) It’s sooo hard, thinking about bitter-sweet memeories. I too have asked myself “why??” why did I even get so attached to that person??? Why couldn’t I have avoided it altogether???? But God gives us these situations to help us to learn. Some of the only ways we will ever learn is by making some big mistakes…that’s just what it takes at times. Isn’t it great being human??? not…;)
Sticking in the Word of god is our life-line!!! Remember that… 🙂

Jeff

Hey, thanks for the comment! I think it’s great being human! I mean, where else can you find conflict and disputes everywhere you turn? It’s like a real-life movie…

But yeah, memories can really be killer. Mistakes are never fun, but they’re necessary to do things right the next time. I learned things this summer that I will never forget, and while I made some bad decisions about my life, I’m determined to make the best of that and do better the next time the situation comes up. It’s awesome that we can have a second chance at things – most mistakes aren’t deadly, so we have a chance to try it again.

Oh and about Katie’s post (the one back awhile ago), I used to have a feeling you might have cared. I found out later I was wrong, but oh well. No hard feelings 😉 heh…

Anonymous

Jeff, the second anonymous person is ME. lol… I’m not gonna say who I am cause you don’t even know me..lol. And I don’t have a clue who the first anonymous person was. So yeah, just wanted to clear taht up with ya. I kinda “stumbled” upon your blog yesterday, so I thought I’d just post a comment, and I “came back” to see if you had replied. So, all that being said… I guess I’ll go now. 🙂

Jeff

Oh, don’t worry, I understand. The thing is that I know who the first anonymous poster was, and when I saw the comments here, I realized I never said anything about it. I suppose it’s a little late now, but oh well. Thanks for dropping by, even if you thought you got mixed up with someone else 😉

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