I hate categories. I’ve always been against them. But at the same time, it’s impossible to get away from them. I guess I tend to categorize people, and I hate doing that at the same time. But I’ve always been a strong proponent of getting to know each person’s individual personality and making generalizations from that. I guess maybe it’s not that categories are entirely bad in themselves, but rather that one can be tempted to over-generalize without examining who they’re including in each group closely enough. I guess carefully and logically choosing your categories is the best solution to the problem. Anyways, I guess I’m so against categories because I just can’t seem to fit myself into one specific aspect of life.
The reason I mention this is because sometimes I like to search the Internet and find some of these stupid personality tests. It’s not like I actually use this to determine who I am; I’m not that naive. However, I have a great interest in psychology. I could care less what the personality test defines me as; whether it determines that I’m peach pie or the colour green doesn’t matter. No, I take these tests to examine why I choose what I choose for each question. Why did I sit there reading and re-reading the question before choosing an answer? And why did I choose that choice instead of the other one? And what does that say about who I think I am? Call me crazy, but this is what I do, subconsciously mostly. But the more I examine my choices reveals how spread out I really am.
I hate having to choose. It says “choose the one that best fits”, but as I sit there examining the choices, I know that depending on the mood I’m in, what’s happened that day, etc., I could choose something entirely different. Some days I’m a completely different person; not just being happy or sad, but my entire thought processes are different; I think differently, I act differently, I am different. So depending on the day’s events, I could get entirely different results from the test. The test only reflects a small fraction of who I am. This leaves me at an utter loss of the knowledge of who I really am.
So who am I? I am both extroverted and introverted at times; I am sometimes optimistic, sometimes pessimistic; sometimes I can’t live without my friends, other times I could care less whether I have friends or not. And the worst thing is I’m not female; I can’t even blame this on PMS! So who am I? Don’t ask me, I sure don’t know…